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I raised him right, right? Self blame and the pursuit of happiness.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 650545" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Lil, wonderful post full of insight and truth.</p><p></p><p>I know because my own DNA is horrible and I could have been horrible. I had it in me, but I didn't want to be horrible so I worked very hard to fight that part of my DNA. I wasn't all bad...and I didn't want to react to life the way I was wired to do so and I didn't mind being taught how other people, who seemed to cope better, responded to things that I could not seem to get right.</p><p></p><p>But, but, but, but but....2 Much is also right, especially in her latest post. Very right.</p><p></p><p>DNA is huge inside of us. If you tried to change the very essence of who you are and how you react, it would be very, very hard for you as it was for me. It CAN BE DONE! But it requires two very important elements. The first is a very strong understanding that you are different and not in a good way. This self-awareness is essential and not everybody has it. The second huge issue is that you have to not only want to change how you react to your enviornment, but to be eager and willing to work on it as if you were in college learning a form of life changing wisdom. The classes are all very hard. You have to believe what you hear and study on your own when you are not in "school". In other words, DNA is not written in stone. We can all decide to change our lives, dig into the higher part of ourselves, and then learn how to do it. But some people either have no insight into themselves or no real desire to change. It is so much easier to stay the same.</p><p></p><p>Years later, I am now tottaly wired differently, especially emotionally. My go-to reaction is no longer impulsive, anger, judgment or black-and-white thinking (a very destructive way of thinking). But the spoils came from the toils (haha...I'm a poet and didn't know it).</p><p></p><p>Then there are the ??? kids, the ones who came from horrible DNA and are good people. Sonic is one. His birthmother was a drug addict and probably a prostitute who left him in the hospital. His father probably lived a similar life. Now...my way of looking at this is that the extreme level of poverty that they lived in caused many people to resort to this lifestyle and tat she may well have been as sweet as Sonic if she had grown up in our enviornment. Bio. dad too. Circumstances that are difficult can bring out the worst in us and hide the best. Nothing is simple about the human condition.</p><p></p><p>However...our little darlings grew up mostly privledged and pampered and do have personality problems that were most likely inherited and are deeply ingrained in their thick skulls, which is why talking to them sensibly doesn't work. And the vast majority of them would rather blame everyone else and get the freebies than change, especially if it means admitting they have an intristic problem or that it is their fault, not our fault.</p><p></p><p>I do think DNA is huge to overcome. I also know it can happen, but it is not easy, fast, or going to happen just because our darlings go to rehab or see a therapist. It takes a true commitment and a level of self-awareness that some of our darlings will never have.</p><p></p><p>Complicated!!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 650545, member: 1550"] Lil, wonderful post full of insight and truth. I know because my own DNA is horrible and I could have been horrible. I had it in me, but I didn't want to be horrible so I worked very hard to fight that part of my DNA. I wasn't all bad...and I didn't want to react to life the way I was wired to do so and I didn't mind being taught how other people, who seemed to cope better, responded to things that I could not seem to get right. But, but, but, but but....2 Much is also right, especially in her latest post. Very right. DNA is huge inside of us. If you tried to change the very essence of who you are and how you react, it would be very, very hard for you as it was for me. It CAN BE DONE! But it requires two very important elements. The first is a very strong understanding that you are different and not in a good way. This self-awareness is essential and not everybody has it. The second huge issue is that you have to not only want to change how you react to your enviornment, but to be eager and willing to work on it as if you were in college learning a form of life changing wisdom. The classes are all very hard. You have to believe what you hear and study on your own when you are not in "school". In other words, DNA is not written in stone. We can all decide to change our lives, dig into the higher part of ourselves, and then learn how to do it. But some people either have no insight into themselves or no real desire to change. It is so much easier to stay the same. Years later, I am now tottaly wired differently, especially emotionally. My go-to reaction is no longer impulsive, anger, judgment or black-and-white thinking (a very destructive way of thinking). But the spoils came from the toils (haha...I'm a poet and didn't know it). Then there are the ??? kids, the ones who came from horrible DNA and are good people. Sonic is one. His birthmother was a drug addict and probably a prostitute who left him in the hospital. His father probably lived a similar life. Now...my way of looking at this is that the extreme level of poverty that they lived in caused many people to resort to this lifestyle and tat she may well have been as sweet as Sonic if she had grown up in our enviornment. Bio. dad too. Circumstances that are difficult can bring out the worst in us and hide the best. Nothing is simple about the human condition. However...our little darlings grew up mostly privledged and pampered and do have personality problems that were most likely inherited and are deeply ingrained in their thick skulls, which is why talking to them sensibly doesn't work. And the vast majority of them would rather blame everyone else and get the freebies than change, especially if it means admitting they have an intristic problem or that it is their fault, not our fault. I do think DNA is huge to overcome. I also know it can happen, but it is not easy, fast, or going to happen just because our darlings go to rehab or see a therapist. It takes a true commitment and a level of self-awareness that some of our darlings will never have. Complicated!!!!! [/QUOTE]
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