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I talked to my friend ...
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 179399" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>You ARE a good friend. I just hope she comes to her senses- that something wakes her up and brings her back to reality before things get any worse for her sons.</p><p></p><p>This reminds me of my older cousin- I have NO IDEA why. But, she was married in her early 20's and they had a son. Her husband apparently, was a difficult child and it wasn't the best of circumstances. He got into major trouble (they were older so I was never told why). He was sent to prison and she filed for divorce. At first, she tried to hard to be super-mom, which as we know is quite draining for most Moms, but impossible if you are in certain circumstances. When her son hugged his cat to death (literally- and it was from hugging- not intentional cruelty) she took them both to counseling. The son was about 4 yo. The counselor told the mom that she had to loosen up a bit and relax some, for both their sakes. The next thing you know, she is out partying with anyone who'll give her the time of day. Her son was left many times with too many people. She and my mom talked a lot for a while (my mom went through similar things after my dad's passing). Anyway, she is one of the sweetest people you could ever hope to meet. But it seemed like she just lost it and raised her son by leaving him way too much. He survived- and he is a very sweet person too. He and his mom are inseparable. But she never really came back to the real world. Everyone knows it. I don't know why- your friend's situation just reminds me of this. I guess because I could see most family members disowning her- which many in my family did. But, I had always hoped that she could get a decent job and take better care of her son and quit running around all the time.</p><p></p><p>It seemed though, that she gave up and lost all expectation that things would ever be any different. And in my family, there is probably truth to that. I guess, I really think it was a serious depression at the root of it. Well- because I think in my cousin's mind, she was doing the best she could by surviving and not killing herself or leaving her son forever. I don't think they tried to treat depression in women the same back then- I think they just gave qualudes or something.</p><p></p><p>Any chance you could have a heart-to-heart with this friend? Not about the boyfriend, but about how she is really feeling underneath it all?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 179399, member: 3699"] You ARE a good friend. I just hope she comes to her senses- that something wakes her up and brings her back to reality before things get any worse for her sons. This reminds me of my older cousin- I have NO IDEA why. But, she was married in her early 20's and they had a son. Her husband apparently, was a difficult child and it wasn't the best of circumstances. He got into major trouble (they were older so I was never told why). He was sent to prison and she filed for divorce. At first, she tried to hard to be super-mom, which as we know is quite draining for most Moms, but impossible if you are in certain circumstances. When her son hugged his cat to death (literally- and it was from hugging- not intentional cruelty) she took them both to counseling. The son was about 4 yo. The counselor told the mom that she had to loosen up a bit and relax some, for both their sakes. The next thing you know, she is out partying with anyone who'll give her the time of day. Her son was left many times with too many people. She and my mom talked a lot for a while (my mom went through similar things after my dad's passing). Anyway, she is one of the sweetest people you could ever hope to meet. But it seemed like she just lost it and raised her son by leaving him way too much. He survived- and he is a very sweet person too. He and his mom are inseparable. But she never really came back to the real world. Everyone knows it. I don't know why- your friend's situation just reminds me of this. I guess because I could see most family members disowning her- which many in my family did. But, I had always hoped that she could get a decent job and take better care of her son and quit running around all the time. It seemed though, that she gave up and lost all expectation that things would ever be any different. And in my family, there is probably truth to that. I guess, I really think it was a serious depression at the root of it. Well- because I think in my cousin's mind, she was doing the best she could by surviving and not killing herself or leaving her son forever. I don't think they tried to treat depression in women the same back then- I think they just gave qualudes or something. Any chance you could have a heart-to-heart with this friend? Not about the boyfriend, but about how she is really feeling underneath it all? [/QUOTE]
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