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Parent Emeritus
I think bio dad disappeared again.
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 261133" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Steely, it hoovers big time. But this is not your problem. It's ex's problem. As difficult child grows up and matures he will come to realize this and stop blaming you for something that is not your fault. Matt can and will survive without his dad. And personally, with a dad like that......it's better without than with.</p><p> </p><p>My dad is that way. He comes around or calls to releave his conscience once in a blue moon. He's never been able to handle any type of real responsibility. Just who he is. I don't hate him for it, or even dislike him for it. But then I never pined away waiting for him to be the Dad he could never be either. I had a wonderful step dad to fill that role quite nicely.</p><p> </p><p>Karma is a *itch. Dad is now in his 70's and age is not being kind. The majority of his children do not seek out a relationship with him. My brother is kind enough to let him live with him simply because he has no where else to go. But bro told him a couple of weeks ago that he may be finding himself in a nursing home soon. Seems even age didn't mellow him. I'm kind and polite when he calls. Afterall, he is my father and never did anything to actually hurt me. The least I can do. BUT I don't and won't seek out a relationship with him. The man is little more than a stranger to me. His fault, not mine. Most of my sibs feel the same way.</p><p> </p><p>So in the end, my dad reaped what he sowed. His old age is proving to be very lonely. </p><p> </p><p>My point is that Matt will eventually figure his dad out and decide how much effort he wishes to continue to put into having a relationship with someone who is terrified of actually having one.</p><p> </p><p>So don't take on the guilt of ex leaving. It's not your guilt to carry.</p><p> </p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 261133, member: 84"] Steely, it hoovers big time. But this is not your problem. It's ex's problem. As difficult child grows up and matures he will come to realize this and stop blaming you for something that is not your fault. Matt can and will survive without his dad. And personally, with a dad like that......it's better without than with. My dad is that way. He comes around or calls to releave his conscience once in a blue moon. He's never been able to handle any type of real responsibility. Just who he is. I don't hate him for it, or even dislike him for it. But then I never pined away waiting for him to be the Dad he could never be either. I had a wonderful step dad to fill that role quite nicely. Karma is a *itch. Dad is now in his 70's and age is not being kind. The majority of his children do not seek out a relationship with him. My brother is kind enough to let him live with him simply because he has no where else to go. But bro told him a couple of weeks ago that he may be finding himself in a nursing home soon. Seems even age didn't mellow him. I'm kind and polite when he calls. Afterall, he is my father and never did anything to actually hurt me. The least I can do. BUT I don't and won't seek out a relationship with him. The man is little more than a stranger to me. His fault, not mine. Most of my sibs feel the same way. So in the end, my dad reaped what he sowed. His old age is proving to be very lonely. My point is that Matt will eventually figure his dad out and decide how much effort he wishes to continue to put into having a relationship with someone who is terrified of actually having one. So don't take on the guilt of ex leaving. It's not your guilt to carry. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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I think bio dad disappeared again.
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