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I think I have hit the bottom...
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 117519" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>One thing I discovered about guilt trips is that you can't be put on one unless you buy the ticket. My daughter was a pro at putting me on one. It was one of her great ways to manipulate me. She'd remind me of every bad thing, every mistake I had ever made in her life, my friends' lives, my mother's life, at work. She'd let me know how hurt she was by something I had said or done, no matter how innocent I was in thought and deed. This worked so well on me. It stopped me from having any life outside of her for a long, long time.</p><p></p><p>When she started listing all the bad, I mentally started listing all the good. A response wasn't worth the effort, but it helped to remind myself that the comments weren't all that accurate in the scheme of her life with me.</p><p></p><p>So, figure out the truth of your husband's words and remember that you are the one dealing with your kids most of the time, including coping with the pain, frustration and anger. Tell him he has a choice -- watch the kids for 4 hours every week or watch you grow totally insane and ultimately be put in the hospital (turn the guilt trip on him lol). Then, take an hour or so as needed and recharge.</p><p></p><p>You might also suggest to him that if he doesn't get more help and not from a bottle, he can love his kids out of the house. Being separated doesn't mean he has to give up his kids. It just means he sees them less and lavishes all of his bound up love in short spurts. Stinks but may give him a wake up call. Who knows?</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you're going through this. Marriage should be a partnership. Sometimes it isn't for a short period. When it becomes a long period, it is time to try to make some changes. Good luck.</p><p></p><p>HUGS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 117519, member: 3626"] One thing I discovered about guilt trips is that you can't be put on one unless you buy the ticket. My daughter was a pro at putting me on one. It was one of her great ways to manipulate me. She'd remind me of every bad thing, every mistake I had ever made in her life, my friends' lives, my mother's life, at work. She'd let me know how hurt she was by something I had said or done, no matter how innocent I was in thought and deed. This worked so well on me. It stopped me from having any life outside of her for a long, long time. When she started listing all the bad, I mentally started listing all the good. A response wasn't worth the effort, but it helped to remind myself that the comments weren't all that accurate in the scheme of her life with me. So, figure out the truth of your husband's words and remember that you are the one dealing with your kids most of the time, including coping with the pain, frustration and anger. Tell him he has a choice -- watch the kids for 4 hours every week or watch you grow totally insane and ultimately be put in the hospital (turn the guilt trip on him lol). Then, take an hour or so as needed and recharge. You might also suggest to him that if he doesn't get more help and not from a bottle, he can love his kids out of the house. Being separated doesn't mean he has to give up his kids. It just means he sees them less and lavishes all of his bound up love in short spurts. Stinks but may give him a wake up call. Who knows? I'm sorry you're going through this. Marriage should be a partnership. Sometimes it isn't for a short period. When it becomes a long period, it is time to try to make some changes. Good luck. HUGS [/QUOTE]
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