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I think I know why...
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 421474" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Shari--</p><p> </p><p>I'm so sorry...</p><p> </p><p>And you are right - this is a big issue....and believe it or not - more common than you might think. We (and by "we" I mean "People", but especially women) look for someone to come to the rescue when a trauma happens. We don't do this consciously - but deep down in our psyche, that need for a hero is there.</p><p> </p><p>And when one spouse has a trauma and the other spouse does not come to the rescue as the hero - it is very common for the victim spouse to be angry as Heck at the other. The anger may or may not be justified when analyzed rationally - but nevertheless, it is there.</p><p> </p><p>This DOES sound like something a therapist needs to help you process. It CAN destroy your marriage all by itself. And you two had issues before the accident...</p><p> </p><p>Your feelings are perfectly normal.</p><p> </p><p>Whether husband should have been a certain kind of "hero" ? It is hard for any of us to judge...we were not there that day....we don't know how he felt / reacted / performed...</p><p> </p><p>but this IS something you both need to address in therapy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 421474, member: 6546"] Shari-- I'm so sorry... And you are right - this is a big issue....and believe it or not - more common than you might think. We (and by "we" I mean "People", but especially women) look for someone to come to the rescue when a trauma happens. We don't do this consciously - but deep down in our psyche, that need for a hero is there. And when one spouse has a trauma and the other spouse does not come to the rescue as the hero - it is very common for the victim spouse to be angry as Heck at the other. The anger may or may not be justified when analyzed rationally - but nevertheless, it is there. This DOES sound like something a therapist needs to help you process. It CAN destroy your marriage all by itself. And you two had issues before the accident... Your feelings are perfectly normal. Whether husband should have been a certain kind of "hero" ? It is hard for any of us to judge...we were not there that day....we don't know how he felt / reacted / performed... but this IS something you both need to address in therapy. [/QUOTE]
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