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I think I know why...
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 421589" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>hey</p><p> </p><p>your dumps, your healthy for sharing it all, taking the time to process it. you'll help others by doing the work, truly.</p><p> </p><p>yea its pretty black and white i think, you have it seems always functioned a certain way with husband, your the one who takes charge, controls everything and gets things done. you are smart, and resourceful and a great parent and a really hard worker. He relies on you being that way and knows no other way to be for whatever his issues are or personality traits.</p><p> </p><p>you saw your ex brother in law who you seem to have a strong tie to in some ways, and his personality is different and also he isnt' your daily live in partner. he took charge, diff personality yet again and allowed you to just become unraveled and be there for you. totally normal.</p><p> </p><p>you need to be upset when bad **** happens we all do. you are lacking something in your marriage, that i get it sooo get it. that take charge just relax it'll be ok type of personality i got this part of your husband. totally can address it in therapy and totally going to have to start changing some ways you react too i think. your so used to being this strong, independent woman. he's so used to taking your lead. i think it can change in time, anything can change. yet it'll probably take work on both parts. just all my opinion sorry if i seem like i'm preaching <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>anyway i'm glad you had that chance to unravel and to just be even if it was with ex brother in law. we all need that in times of trouble. you have to begin to have trust in husband that he can be the for you. maybe he can be shari. i don't know him, you know you best, him the marriage. yet at one point you two were in love, and took on all that you did. yea the waters always get muddied, stress puts us down and under, his lack of effort your sheer exhaustion.</p><p> </p><p>yet each time i read your posts i see you getting better at really processing it all, and really getting what it is you want and need now. which is huge i'm in the same boat with my own working in my marriage.</p><p> </p><p>our marriage counselor said to us marriage isnt a sprint its' a marathon and life long teaching lesson, friendship that will wax and wane and well yea it's alot of work!! LOL. i keep saying but why oh why?? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>hang in there!!! good job with the processing it all!~</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 421589, member: 4514"] hey your dumps, your healthy for sharing it all, taking the time to process it. you'll help others by doing the work, truly. yea its pretty black and white i think, you have it seems always functioned a certain way with husband, your the one who takes charge, controls everything and gets things done. you are smart, and resourceful and a great parent and a really hard worker. He relies on you being that way and knows no other way to be for whatever his issues are or personality traits. you saw your ex brother in law who you seem to have a strong tie to in some ways, and his personality is different and also he isnt' your daily live in partner. he took charge, diff personality yet again and allowed you to just become unraveled and be there for you. totally normal. you need to be upset when bad **** happens we all do. you are lacking something in your marriage, that i get it sooo get it. that take charge just relax it'll be ok type of personality i got this part of your husband. totally can address it in therapy and totally going to have to start changing some ways you react too i think. your so used to being this strong, independent woman. he's so used to taking your lead. i think it can change in time, anything can change. yet it'll probably take work on both parts. just all my opinion sorry if i seem like i'm preaching :) anyway i'm glad you had that chance to unravel and to just be even if it was with ex brother in law. we all need that in times of trouble. you have to begin to have trust in husband that he can be the for you. maybe he can be shari. i don't know him, you know you best, him the marriage. yet at one point you two were in love, and took on all that you did. yea the waters always get muddied, stress puts us down and under, his lack of effort your sheer exhaustion. yet each time i read your posts i see you getting better at really processing it all, and really getting what it is you want and need now. which is huge i'm in the same boat with my own working in my marriage. our marriage counselor said to us marriage isnt a sprint its' a marathon and life long teaching lesson, friendship that will wax and wane and well yea it's alot of work!! LOL. i keep saying but why oh why?? :) hang in there!!! good job with the processing it all!~ [/QUOTE]
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