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General Parenting
I think I messed up (long vent)
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 237645" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If he is an alcoholic and drinks and drives...I don't think I'd want them to see him. That's dangerous to them. And I'm pretty much into honesty, although I never would have put it that way. Long ago I would have said, "Your father has an illness, an addiction." I have had to have these conversations with two of my adopted children and putting it that way has not made them feel that the birthparent is "bad." </p><p>Since I really don't know your story (not the whole thing) I can't give too much advice. I don't think it's a good thing for divorced parents to talk badly about one another to the kids. But I also don't believe in lying to the kids. I don't know if your hub is a dangerous drinker or not, but if he ever gets behind the wheel a car while he's drunk and takes the kids with him, heck, I'd be mandating supervision. So my opinion may not be popular, but I would only feel bad about saying that dad doesn't love them. I wouldn't feel bad that they know he is an alcoholic. He has control over that. He can chose to get sober and show his kids that they DO matter to him and that he cares about them and himself. JMO</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 237645, member: 1550"] If he is an alcoholic and drinks and drives...I don't think I'd want them to see him. That's dangerous to them. And I'm pretty much into honesty, although I never would have put it that way. Long ago I would have said, "Your father has an illness, an addiction." I have had to have these conversations with two of my adopted children and putting it that way has not made them feel that the birthparent is "bad." Since I really don't know your story (not the whole thing) I can't give too much advice. I don't think it's a good thing for divorced parents to talk badly about one another to the kids. But I also don't believe in lying to the kids. I don't know if your hub is a dangerous drinker or not, but if he ever gets behind the wheel a car while he's drunk and takes the kids with him, heck, I'd be mandating supervision. So my opinion may not be popular, but I would only feel bad about saying that dad doesn't love them. I wouldn't feel bad that they know he is an alcoholic. He has control over that. He can chose to get sober and show his kids that they DO matter to him and that he cares about them and himself. JMO [/QUOTE]
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I think I messed up (long vent)
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