Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I think I'm done.... I can't live a lie
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 696288" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>The stigma is sad and wrong and is there whenever a child is mentally ill or just foesnt launch. Maybe it makes other people feel more elevated.</p><p></p><p>It isn't unusual for some parents to take credit for success of their kids. If they didnt secretly feel their children were a credit to them, they wouldnt brag about it to others and expect kudos.</p><p></p><p>At the same time soooooooo many of us feel responsible for the paths our adult kids take. We blame ourselves. We beat ourselves up.</p><p></p><p>These are both on the same spectrum.</p><p></p><p>The truth is that we pass along our genes and teach our values, but our adult kids ultimately chose what they do with the cards they are dealt Their success or lack of is due to how they deal with their potential. Its not on us.</p><p></p><p>But it is almost status quo for parents to take some credit for the good or bad of their offspring. What is posted on Facebook? </p><p></p><p>We are not faultless either. Many of us have our ideas of how we dreamed our kids turn out and even feel shame at some things they do...even though THEY did it, not us.</p><p></p><p>It is hard to remember that we are not them and they are not us. Society gives us the credit or blame for what our kids do. That is a big part of both ends of the spectrum.</p><p></p><p>I hope with time this changes.</p><p></p><p>Colleen, you are still that good person. your son may be a good person under the addiction. You did not buy him drugs. His choices are not your fault. Please let go of the shame....you did nothing wrong.</p><p></p><p>Mof, you are so obviously kind and loving and also should not feel shame. You are a great person regardless of your son's life and it sounds like he is on the upswing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 696288, member: 1550"] The stigma is sad and wrong and is there whenever a child is mentally ill or just foesnt launch. Maybe it makes other people feel more elevated. It isn't unusual for some parents to take credit for success of their kids. If they didnt secretly feel their children were a credit to them, they wouldnt brag about it to others and expect kudos. At the same time soooooooo many of us feel responsible for the paths our adult kids take. We blame ourselves. We beat ourselves up. These are both on the same spectrum. The truth is that we pass along our genes and teach our values, but our adult kids ultimately chose what they do with the cards they are dealt Their success or lack of is due to how they deal with their potential. Its not on us. But it is almost status quo for parents to take some credit for the good or bad of their offspring. What is posted on Facebook? We are not faultless either. Many of us have our ideas of how we dreamed our kids turn out and even feel shame at some things they do...even though THEY did it, not us. It is hard to remember that we are not them and they are not us. Society gives us the credit or blame for what our kids do. That is a big part of both ends of the spectrum. I hope with time this changes. Colleen, you are still that good person. your son may be a good person under the addiction. You did not buy him drugs. His choices are not your fault. Please let go of the shame....you did nothing wrong. Mof, you are so obviously kind and loving and also should not feel shame. You are a great person regardless of your son's life and it sounds like he is on the upswing. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I think I'm done.... I can't live a lie
Top