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General Parenting
I think that respite this past weekend
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 213446" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>Typical teen, if we are taking a poll.....my vote goes with kt was being a typical teen.</p><p>Until the start of this month I had 3 teens of my own bio here (difficult child turned 20 start of November- but developmentally she is still a teen), and I also have 2 more....LOL--PCs boyfriend and sons best friend. and yes......what kt said was something that sounds very typical teen to me. </p><p>It also sounds just about like what I said to my own mom, and to a couple aunts.....</p><p>so far none of my neices or nephews could say similar becuz they are MUCH younger still. </p><p></p><p>And yes, I, too have 20+ years in in this crazy life. I have aso had my fair share and more of people wanting to give me their opinions on MY marriage......</p><p>Yes, my marriage has had some very hard rough times. Whew boy, with my husband diagnosis'es? you betchya! Add in MY own diagnosis'es? Yikes. Then toss in difficult child and easy child and our son? Lookout. Thats "Life" Thats what Life is about..getting thru those times. Oh yeah, baby, have we had the crisises. You name it, we had it. Yes, we had so many somedays, even crisis team sometimes had a hard time figureing out just which crisis to handle first. <shrug> </p><p>Ya want sexually molested kids? ya want kids arrested for sexuall crimes? drugs? Drinking, smoking? You want adult spouses taken involuntarily to phosps? you want psychotic spouses released aginst your will from phosps? </p><p>Mania? diassociative states? fight or flight major panic with disassociation, sure. It is all "in a days work" here. </p><p>Sometimes I think it is the crisises that keep us together, LOL- who else would have us. </p><p></p><p>Anyway......kids learn by saying things, by asking questions, even if they are dumb and stupid things. Kt saying what she did shows she is paying attention, shows she cares...shows she is aware. Shows she feels safe and comfy talking to you. The communication door is good to keep open. It is thru the ame door thta you can help her learn and grow, help guide her.</p><p>Truth is some teens think there is some magic out there, some adult life where things always go good and right.....BUT no marriage that lasts any amount of time is going to be event free. No family is going to be without crisis. Even if there are no difficult children. This is a good time to begin teaching kt that. Help her learn that a marriage is a commitment to stay together even when things are not easy. </p><p>I do not tell my kids to stay out of it.I do not tell them I know best. Yes, I have more experience than my kids do, if only becuz of my age. But I tend to view their concerns as a learning opportunity.....and as a display of concern for ME and MY well being. I also take the opportunity to remind my kids I myself am also only simply human, too. Maybe there were some things in my marriage I maybe could have handled differently. Maybe there were some parenting things I could have done differently. BUT this is MY life.....and I have been trying my best at it all along. Even I can still always learn..... and yes, sometimes I do learn from others who are younger than me......</p><p>I do not take offense. I consider what is said, thank them for their concern......and if it is my kids? I try to see if there is an underlying reason for their concern of the moment. </p><p></p><p>Sounds like you handled it OK....I hope you can relax. Sounds like kt is experimenting with her knowledge and growth and sense of belonging. Like she is trying to get a handle on family dynamics? </p><p></p><p>I remind my kids that sure maybe sometimes me and husband have hard times etc.BUT we made a commitment.for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health and in our house, poorer definetly came to be, and so did sickness. BUT we promised before God.....in our wedding, anyway.....and we plan to hold to our vows. and noone is perfect. I am not. And my husband is not. and our kids are not. Thats just Life. Thats all. simple statement of fact. and like it or not right this minute, we ARE married, and all of us ARE family. THats all. Thats just how it is. and how it will be. </p><p></p><p>good luck.</p><p></p><p>and a hug, for your hurting mommy heart</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 213446, member: 1697"] Typical teen, if we are taking a poll.....my vote goes with kt was being a typical teen. Until the start of this month I had 3 teens of my own bio here (difficult child turned 20 start of November- but developmentally she is still a teen), and I also have 2 more....LOL--PCs boyfriend and sons best friend. and yes......what kt said was something that sounds very typical teen to me. It also sounds just about like what I said to my own mom, and to a couple aunts..... so far none of my neices or nephews could say similar becuz they are MUCH younger still. And yes, I, too have 20+ years in in this crazy life. I have aso had my fair share and more of people wanting to give me their opinions on MY marriage...... Yes, my marriage has had some very hard rough times. Whew boy, with my husband diagnosis'es? you betchya! Add in MY own diagnosis'es? Yikes. Then toss in difficult child and easy child and our son? Lookout. Thats "Life" Thats what Life is about..getting thru those times. Oh yeah, baby, have we had the crisises. You name it, we had it. Yes, we had so many somedays, even crisis team sometimes had a hard time figureing out just which crisis to handle first. <shrug> Ya want sexually molested kids? ya want kids arrested for sexuall crimes? drugs? Drinking, smoking? You want adult spouses taken involuntarily to phosps? you want psychotic spouses released aginst your will from phosps? Mania? diassociative states? fight or flight major panic with disassociation, sure. It is all "in a days work" here. Sometimes I think it is the crisises that keep us together, LOL- who else would have us. Anyway......kids learn by saying things, by asking questions, even if they are dumb and stupid things. Kt saying what she did shows she is paying attention, shows she cares...shows she is aware. Shows she feels safe and comfy talking to you. The communication door is good to keep open. It is thru the ame door thta you can help her learn and grow, help guide her. Truth is some teens think there is some magic out there, some adult life where things always go good and right.....BUT no marriage that lasts any amount of time is going to be event free. No family is going to be without crisis. Even if there are no difficult children. This is a good time to begin teaching kt that. Help her learn that a marriage is a commitment to stay together even when things are not easy. I do not tell my kids to stay out of it.I do not tell them I know best. Yes, I have more experience than my kids do, if only becuz of my age. But I tend to view their concerns as a learning opportunity.....and as a display of concern for ME and MY well being. I also take the opportunity to remind my kids I myself am also only simply human, too. Maybe there were some things in my marriage I maybe could have handled differently. Maybe there were some parenting things I could have done differently. BUT this is MY life.....and I have been trying my best at it all along. Even I can still always learn..... and yes, sometimes I do learn from others who are younger than me...... I do not take offense. I consider what is said, thank them for their concern......and if it is my kids? I try to see if there is an underlying reason for their concern of the moment. Sounds like you handled it OK....I hope you can relax. Sounds like kt is experimenting with her knowledge and growth and sense of belonging. Like she is trying to get a handle on family dynamics? I remind my kids that sure maybe sometimes me and husband have hard times etc.BUT we made a commitment.for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health and in our house, poorer definetly came to be, and so did sickness. BUT we promised before God.....in our wedding, anyway.....and we plan to hold to our vows. and noone is perfect. I am not. And my husband is not. and our kids are not. Thats just Life. Thats all. simple statement of fact. and like it or not right this minute, we ARE married, and all of us ARE family. THats all. Thats just how it is. and how it will be. good luck. and a hug, for your hurting mommy heart [/QUOTE]
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I think that respite this past weekend
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