Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
90 percent of the time Aubrey is sweet, very loving, cooperative, and obedient. She is a joy to be around in every since of the word. I've never seen a 2 yr old who can make believe play on the level Aubrey can, or who has as developed a sense of humor as she does. Both far beyond her years. She's become our little chatter box who loves books, attempts to write, colors in the lines (thanks to Darrin lol). She has an unnerving way of picking up on how to do things almost instantly and never forgetting. And we have to what every move we make because of it. Because Aubrey will attempt to do it herself and nearly always will succeed unless her physical size prevents it. (scarey at times)
That said there is something about Aubrey that I find very worrying and a bit scarey.
Nichole has told me about Aubrey "attacking her" from time to time for months. Having not seen said attacks, I chalked them up to 2 yr old tantrums. Her old rages vanished once she finally began to talk.
Nichole would also tell me that Aubrey gets this look on her face. Mean. Dark. Mean. And that the episodes are not necessarily triggered by ongoing events.
At first we thought the "look" was being picked up from another toddler at daycare. This poor little girl looks like she hates the very world every moment of the day, and she's only 2 herself.
But I no longer thing so. For one thing the other toddler looking this way is "norm" as she always looks that way. No change in expression for any reason. And also Aubrey puts it into the correct Language context / behavior context when using it. Her message comes across, let's put it that way.
Since I saw none of this at first I kept a wait and see attitude while giving Nichole the general tips for handling a uncooperative 2 yr old.
Now that Aubrey has been home with me the last several weeks I've seen firsthand the behavior Nichole is talking about. And believe me after having run my own day care for years and watching dozens of toddlers (both difficult child and non difficult child), raising my own kids, and watching neices and nephews.........This is not typical 2 yr old behavior.
When Aubrey gets that "look" on her face the first thing I think of is evil personified. Can't help it, that's the first thing that springs into my head, even though I know that's not the case. Her expression is dark, eyebrows down, mouth in a snarl. It's a look that would greatly disturb me if I saw it in a child of any age, but in a 2 yr old it is unnerving.
The attack comes within seconds. Biting, kicking, nails digging into flesh, head butting. all deliberate attempts to inflict damage.
Once it's over, it's over. She is sweet Aubrey again.
Like I said, this does not appear to have a set trigger, like taking something away or not giving into a demand. It can, and often does, happen out of the blue.
And it did again yesterday. Nichole was at boyfriend's. Aubrey was overtired. So Nichole was going to ly down with Aubrey in the big bed to help her fall alseep. This is normally an activity Aubrey loves. A few mins later comes the look and Nichole is being brutally attacked. Being unable to restrain her, Nichole gave up on the nap and tried re direction which worked eventually. Then tried the nap again which went fine.
Aubrey has attempted this on me. She went down for a nap one day this week while I had her. She woke up in a "violent" mood. There was no making her happy. And she wasn't still acting sleepy. Next thing I know comes the "look" and the attack.
Only I stopped the attack with the same Mommy Look I use on my own kids and the deep I mean business Mommy Voice. She looked at me stunned, then fell into tears. There were 4 successive incidents within 20 mins before Nichole came home from school. Not a single one had a trigger. Each time I stopped her with the Mommy Look and the Mommy Voice. But it took her several minutes to seem to have it register before it kicked in and worked.
Sorry, words aren't describing the whole thing well.
It's going to sound weird, but it's that look she gets onto her face that bothers me the most. The aggression I can handle. been there done that And I told Nichole I'd show her the correct way to restrain Aubrey when this happens so that neither of them get hurt. But that look. OMG Nichole at her finest has never managed such an expression on her face.
I have seen the look before. Many times. I've seen it appear on my own mother's face over the years before she'd either become violent or do something totally off the wall. I've seen it on patient's faces from time to time in the psychiatric ward where I used to work many many years ago.
But on a 2 yr old????? C'mon! How can that possibly be?? Aubrey shows no other signs of gfgdom. No moodiness outside of the norm, nothing. No overt aggression, defiance. Nothing.
So it looks like we have another difficult child in the family. Although at 2 no psychiatrist would seriously evaluation, and with the way this displays wouldn't even likely ever see it if they did attempt an evaluation. And how seriouslly could you take a diagnosis rendered at 2 anyway?
Could be a odd form of seizures. Travis had them years ago back when he was about 12 or 13 that were similar. Actually, quite similar. But Aubrey has shown no other sign of seizure activity. But to be honest, neither neuro or I were completelly satisfied that the behavior Travis had displayed at the time was truely seizure either. It was just the only explaination for completely out of character behavior that has never reappeared.
So, for now I'm teaching Nichole the proper way to restrain. Fun. Not. And she's practicing the Mommy Look and the Mommy Voice, but not doing very well with it.
*sigh*
Have any of you seen this sort of thing so darn young?? I know many of our difficult children displayed behaviors at a young age, many younger than they supposedly should have. (both my difficult child's did) But that look really has me bothered. My gut tells me I shouldn't be seeing it at her age, difficult child or not.
That said there is something about Aubrey that I find very worrying and a bit scarey.
Nichole has told me about Aubrey "attacking her" from time to time for months. Having not seen said attacks, I chalked them up to 2 yr old tantrums. Her old rages vanished once she finally began to talk.
Nichole would also tell me that Aubrey gets this look on her face. Mean. Dark. Mean. And that the episodes are not necessarily triggered by ongoing events.
At first we thought the "look" was being picked up from another toddler at daycare. This poor little girl looks like she hates the very world every moment of the day, and she's only 2 herself.
But I no longer thing so. For one thing the other toddler looking this way is "norm" as she always looks that way. No change in expression for any reason. And also Aubrey puts it into the correct Language context / behavior context when using it. Her message comes across, let's put it that way.
Since I saw none of this at first I kept a wait and see attitude while giving Nichole the general tips for handling a uncooperative 2 yr old.
Now that Aubrey has been home with me the last several weeks I've seen firsthand the behavior Nichole is talking about. And believe me after having run my own day care for years and watching dozens of toddlers (both difficult child and non difficult child), raising my own kids, and watching neices and nephews.........This is not typical 2 yr old behavior.
When Aubrey gets that "look" on her face the first thing I think of is evil personified. Can't help it, that's the first thing that springs into my head, even though I know that's not the case. Her expression is dark, eyebrows down, mouth in a snarl. It's a look that would greatly disturb me if I saw it in a child of any age, but in a 2 yr old it is unnerving.
The attack comes within seconds. Biting, kicking, nails digging into flesh, head butting. all deliberate attempts to inflict damage.
Once it's over, it's over. She is sweet Aubrey again.
Like I said, this does not appear to have a set trigger, like taking something away or not giving into a demand. It can, and often does, happen out of the blue.
And it did again yesterday. Nichole was at boyfriend's. Aubrey was overtired. So Nichole was going to ly down with Aubrey in the big bed to help her fall alseep. This is normally an activity Aubrey loves. A few mins later comes the look and Nichole is being brutally attacked. Being unable to restrain her, Nichole gave up on the nap and tried re direction which worked eventually. Then tried the nap again which went fine.
Aubrey has attempted this on me. She went down for a nap one day this week while I had her. She woke up in a "violent" mood. There was no making her happy. And she wasn't still acting sleepy. Next thing I know comes the "look" and the attack.
Only I stopped the attack with the same Mommy Look I use on my own kids and the deep I mean business Mommy Voice. She looked at me stunned, then fell into tears. There were 4 successive incidents within 20 mins before Nichole came home from school. Not a single one had a trigger. Each time I stopped her with the Mommy Look and the Mommy Voice. But it took her several minutes to seem to have it register before it kicked in and worked.
Sorry, words aren't describing the whole thing well.
It's going to sound weird, but it's that look she gets onto her face that bothers me the most. The aggression I can handle. been there done that And I told Nichole I'd show her the correct way to restrain Aubrey when this happens so that neither of them get hurt. But that look. OMG Nichole at her finest has never managed such an expression on her face.
I have seen the look before. Many times. I've seen it appear on my own mother's face over the years before she'd either become violent or do something totally off the wall. I've seen it on patient's faces from time to time in the psychiatric ward where I used to work many many years ago.
But on a 2 yr old????? C'mon! How can that possibly be?? Aubrey shows no other signs of gfgdom. No moodiness outside of the norm, nothing. No overt aggression, defiance. Nothing.
So it looks like we have another difficult child in the family. Although at 2 no psychiatrist would seriously evaluation, and with the way this displays wouldn't even likely ever see it if they did attempt an evaluation. And how seriouslly could you take a diagnosis rendered at 2 anyway?
Could be a odd form of seizures. Travis had them years ago back when he was about 12 or 13 that were similar. Actually, quite similar. But Aubrey has shown no other sign of seizure activity. But to be honest, neither neuro or I were completelly satisfied that the behavior Travis had displayed at the time was truely seizure either. It was just the only explaination for completely out of character behavior that has never reappeared.
So, for now I'm teaching Nichole the proper way to restrain. Fun. Not. And she's practicing the Mommy Look and the Mommy Voice, but not doing very well with it.
*sigh*
Have any of you seen this sort of thing so darn young?? I know many of our difficult children displayed behaviors at a young age, many younger than they supposedly should have. (both my difficult child's did) But that look really has me bothered. My gut tells me I shouldn't be seeing it at her age, difficult child or not.