He needs a comprehensive evaluation. Somehow. And soon.
There is likely more going on than is obvious in your posts on this thread, but here's some of what I see for concerns...
He had a speech delay and needed tubes put in his ears when he was 5. The doctors thought that might be causing the behavior for awhile. But tubes put in speech corrected the behavior continued so that when they ruled it ADHD and ODD.
He's too young to really get full-scale Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) testing done, but... APDs often look like ADHD - especially difficulty with focus, paying attention, etc. If he is challenged by problems with "auditory figure ground", he will do fine working one-on-one with you but do terrible in a classroom. "Auditory figure ground" is difficulty processing a primary sound in the presence of background noise.
He had problems in school from time to time but after I found out he was being sent to the prinicpals office daily because of poor handwriting I decided he deserved better then that so I've been homeschooling him this year.
Motor skills issues - HUGE red flag. No matter whether you think his motor skills are in general "on par" with peers, it will pay to get a detailed Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation of motor skills - fine and gross. Gross motor skills problems are a huge social deficit - at least in current culture. Fine motor skills problems are... a total disaster at school, and 10x worse than that for the first 3-4 years, with all the crafts and such on top of learning to write. The Occupational Therapist (OT) cannot give a diagnosis, but can document the problems in ways that other specialists understand (school and medical), AND has therapies to help. If he has motor skills problems, you might want to look into Developmental Coordination Disorder. One good starting point is
CanChild Centre for Childhood Disability Research
The witching hour is really when the school bus comes because that means his friends are home. He wants to be gone every minute and will fight to the death if I tell him he can't go. (etc....)
Social issues/challenges. He wants to be included, but does things that push others away. He needs to be at school - but he can't handle school. The list goes on. This could be related to any number of things, or multiples... from frustration due to things like Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) and/or Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD), all the way over to something on the autism spectrum, such as Asperger's - obviously high-functioning.
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Something is going on here that is way beyond ADHD.
Toss out the ODD diagnosis... more likely, that is just a "placeholder" - acknowledgement that there is something else going on, but if the therapist/psychiatrist doesn't have a good handle on what other diagnosis it might be, the ODD "diagnosis" does document the behavior issues... but ODD doesn't provide any guidance, interventions, accommodations or medications to deal with the issue, because the real source of the problem can be so varied, and the correct solutions to be trying are dependent on the cause.
The additional "trauma" factor... may or may not be part of the picture. It MAY be huge. Or, it may just be an unfortunate coincidence that this event happened at the same time as your son "went off the deep end".
A comprehensive evaluation should cover all of this and more.
Until you have a more complete picture of what you are dealing with, it will be difficult to find solutions that work well.