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General Parenting
I threw my son out of the house, wondering what else I could have done...
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 403612" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>It's easy for these kids to pick a side. Your son <em>knows</em> you love him. He <em>knows</em> you will always be there. But his Dad? He isn't sure there. And Dad is showing him attention right now, and love. So he has to do what Dad says (and I'm not saying Dad tells him to be violent and nasty, see below) to make Dad keep loving him.</p><p> </p><p>An extrapolation of that is his treatment of you and his brother. If Dad says not-so-nice things about you, then son escalates. His logic is, if Dad does this, and seems happy when I do it, then I go above and beyond, do more, he will be even happier and love me more.</p><p> </p><p>One of two things could happen. I'll go with worst case first. Son could really, really become entrenched in this way of life. So far, you have done what you could - you cannot just think of one child, and not the other, and yourself... Or, son may find out exactly what kind of person Dad is - what I call the "light bulb" moment - and there will be a turning point. I'm not saying it will get better immediately. A lot of things in our house changed when Onyxx figured out what her mother was doing. But it hasn't been all roses.</p><p> </p><p>Still. I think you did right. HUGS!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 403612, member: 6705"] It's easy for these kids to pick a side. Your son [I]knows[/I] you love him. He [I]knows[/I] you will always be there. But his Dad? He isn't sure there. And Dad is showing him attention right now, and love. So he has to do what Dad says (and I'm not saying Dad tells him to be violent and nasty, see below) to make Dad keep loving him. An extrapolation of that is his treatment of you and his brother. If Dad says not-so-nice things about you, then son escalates. His logic is, if Dad does this, and seems happy when I do it, then I go above and beyond, do more, he will be even happier and love me more. One of two things could happen. I'll go with worst case first. Son could really, really become entrenched in this way of life. So far, you have done what you could - you cannot just think of one child, and not the other, and yourself... Or, son may find out exactly what kind of person Dad is - what I call the "light bulb" moment - and there will be a turning point. I'm not saying it will get better immediately. A lot of things in our house changed when Onyxx figured out what her mother was doing. But it hasn't been all roses. Still. I think you did right. HUGS! [/QUOTE]
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I threw my son out of the house, wondering what else I could have done...
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