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I want to cry....HELP
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<blockquote data-quote="Wildflower" data-source="post: 33886" data-attributes="member: 107"><p>Hi Michelle,</p><p></p><p>Cope, simply, one day at a time. Sometimes, even one hour at a time. As TiredMommy suggests, reading books like The Explosive Child are helpful. I found that arming myself with information and then developing a plan really helped. You just have to stick with it and only choose a few things to change at first. It does get better. As TM says, once you get a grip on what is causing the ODD and start addressing the root of the problem, the ODD starts to fade.</p><p></p><p>I hear you on the screaming front. When my difficult child did that, I used to whisper back, very nonchalantly and calmly. It would usually startle him. I would say to him that we don't shout. When he'd talk normally to me, I'd say "good talking." I would give him positive praise for all the right things he did every chance I had. All I'd say was "good (fill in the blank)." Just two or three words. It took a long time to get him to turn around; but he did. He never really shouts now. In fact, the whole family has made it a point not to shout and we were a bunch of yellers a while back. I have to say, if there was one thing I did that worked in the early years, it was just piling on the positive praise and keeping my cool.</p><p></p><p>You also need to believe in yourself that you can get through this. Set your goal in granite, your path to it in sand. You are going to have to try lots of approaches to find what works for your difficult child.</p><p></p><p>And if all else fails, just eat lots of chocolate!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wildflower, post: 33886, member: 107"] Hi Michelle, Cope, simply, one day at a time. Sometimes, even one hour at a time. As TiredMommy suggests, reading books like The Explosive Child are helpful. I found that arming myself with information and then developing a plan really helped. You just have to stick with it and only choose a few things to change at first. It does get better. As TM says, once you get a grip on what is causing the ODD and start addressing the root of the problem, the ODD starts to fade. I hear you on the screaming front. When my difficult child did that, I used to whisper back, very nonchalantly and calmly. It would usually startle him. I would say to him that we don't shout. When he'd talk normally to me, I'd say "good talking." I would give him positive praise for all the right things he did every chance I had. All I'd say was "good (fill in the blank)." Just two or three words. It took a long time to get him to turn around; but he did. He never really shouts now. In fact, the whole family has made it a point not to shout and we were a bunch of yellers a while back. I have to say, if there was one thing I did that worked in the early years, it was just piling on the positive praise and keeping my cool. You also need to believe in yourself that you can get through this. Set your goal in granite, your path to it in sand. You are going to have to try lots of approaches to find what works for your difficult child. And if all else fails, just eat lots of chocolate! [/QUOTE]
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