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I will not let her ruin my Thanksgiving mood!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 392150" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Wiped out. </p><p> </p><p>Have you ever thought of asking HER what HER definition of the perfect family is - and when she gives her answers ask her WHY she thinks THAT is the definition of PERFECTION? </p><p> </p><p>I would then stay away from cliche's like "There is no such thing as perfect." I would however want to know where she gets her perceptions from. Then ask for a chance to have an adult conversation as to WHY you feel certain things need to be done a certain way, but would be OPEN to a compromise on a few things if it would help you both get a long. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe this style of open communication would be a beginning to her feeling her opinions were valuable to you and she had a place in the world. A lot of times I was too quick to dismiss Dudes thoughts or opinions of how things could be done thinking it's my house, I'll do it my way, I'm the adult I've earned the right. Would have been a lot easier to be open to listening to his views and saying I'd be willing to compromise on a couple things if he would. Saved the peace a few times and of course it takes practice. Don't expect her to jump right at the option. They renig, a lot. You have to keep reminding them - that they did make that grown up deal to be respected and seen as a more grown up person working on getting more of their own responsibilities and freedoms in your home. </p><p> </p><p>As far as cutting words? Ahhh well nothing takes the sting out of a child you do and do and do and do for only to have them shoot nails at you and walk away with that smirk of justification. I would just keep in my head when I could that this was an immature brain, spouting immature language, and that the wording - while hurtful STILL depended on me for food, shelter, clothing and despite all the venom? Came back under MY roof every night ate my cereal, watched MY TV, slept in a bed I provided, in pajamas I bought, on top of sheets I purchased, in a room where I paid for the carpeting, lights, heat, and even the poster tac on the wall....Breaking it down to even the door knob screws? Kinda kept it in perspective - didn't take the sting out - but really? You provide WHAT for ME and you have such a mouth - Should I choose to TAKE AWAY the door know screws, the door knob, the door, the hinges, the hinge screws, the door frame - the room, the carpet, the bed, the frame, the ------you get my drift? WHAT would you do for even so much as a place to sleep? So go ahead and spout your ugliness you ungrateful brat - but in the end - you still crawl back to MOMMY and sniffle around in MY kitchen in MY home for a crust of bread to fill your ungrateful tummy - don't you? So WHO needs WHOM? Then i walked away knowing I really could be the more superior person for the moment and kept my trap shut - mostly. Sometimes I would offer "Cereal? Bread?" after he had been especially ugly. Somehow it made me feel - Bigger. mwah hahahahahaha. </p><p> </p><p>Enjoy the day........then toss bread.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 392150, member: 4964"] Wiped out. Have you ever thought of asking HER what HER definition of the perfect family is - and when she gives her answers ask her WHY she thinks THAT is the definition of PERFECTION? I would then stay away from cliche's like "There is no such thing as perfect." I would however want to know where she gets her perceptions from. Then ask for a chance to have an adult conversation as to WHY you feel certain things need to be done a certain way, but would be OPEN to a compromise on a few things if it would help you both get a long. Maybe this style of open communication would be a beginning to her feeling her opinions were valuable to you and she had a place in the world. A lot of times I was too quick to dismiss Dudes thoughts or opinions of how things could be done thinking it's my house, I'll do it my way, I'm the adult I've earned the right. Would have been a lot easier to be open to listening to his views and saying I'd be willing to compromise on a couple things if he would. Saved the peace a few times and of course it takes practice. Don't expect her to jump right at the option. They renig, a lot. You have to keep reminding them - that they did make that grown up deal to be respected and seen as a more grown up person working on getting more of their own responsibilities and freedoms in your home. As far as cutting words? Ahhh well nothing takes the sting out of a child you do and do and do and do for only to have them shoot nails at you and walk away with that smirk of justification. I would just keep in my head when I could that this was an immature brain, spouting immature language, and that the wording - while hurtful STILL depended on me for food, shelter, clothing and despite all the venom? Came back under MY roof every night ate my cereal, watched MY TV, slept in a bed I provided, in pajamas I bought, on top of sheets I purchased, in a room where I paid for the carpeting, lights, heat, and even the poster tac on the wall....Breaking it down to even the door knob screws? Kinda kept it in perspective - didn't take the sting out - but really? You provide WHAT for ME and you have such a mouth - Should I choose to TAKE AWAY the door know screws, the door knob, the door, the hinges, the hinge screws, the door frame - the room, the carpet, the bed, the frame, the ------you get my drift? WHAT would you do for even so much as a place to sleep? So go ahead and spout your ugliness you ungrateful brat - but in the end - you still crawl back to MOMMY and sniffle around in MY kitchen in MY home for a crust of bread to fill your ungrateful tummy - don't you? So WHO needs WHOM? Then i walked away knowing I really could be the more superior person for the moment and kept my trap shut - mostly. Sometimes I would offer "Cereal? Bread?" after he had been especially ugly. Somehow it made me feel - Bigger. mwah hahahahahaha. Enjoy the day........then toss bread. [/QUOTE]
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