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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 237447" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>Hey how are you?? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>Threads fine, your thoughts are shared by many i'm sure. I agree I don't think it gives them a "free pass" at all. Depending on the severity of their illness I think pretty much states what rules should and shouldn't be followed. Yet than again if they are living at home and not in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or out of placement setting then it deems them capable to some extent. I just totally went in a circle with that one. lol sorry was thinking and writing.</p><p> </p><p>I think that at the end of the day they should be held accountable, life isn't going to give them a free pass why should we? It just teaches them it's all good dont' worry you don't have to keep up with your hygiene or basic chores just to function as part of a family, etc. Yet I do think that their responsiblities should be according to their capability and as they take on little bit, we increase periodically.</p><p> </p><p>What I"m seeing alot of lately is behavior mod stuff. They state it rewires their brains. It's a rigid rigid schedule started early on as soon as diagnosis in place. Entire household is in lock down on this schedule it's rough. It bounces child from free time to chore time to dinner to chore time to free time. I'Tourette's Syndrome a constant back and forth progression through day. I myself am curious to see how it's going to play out in the families that are currently doing this.</p><p> </p><p>I know difficult child has certain chores here that she has to do, their not major but there a few. If she doens't do them there's a consequence that follows, ie. like losing tv time, or ds time, etc. Her want and desire to have her privlidges most of the time gets her in gear to take care of her chores. which are few by the way. There are exceptions if she's flying into manic mode and arguing, screaming, etc. they are obviously postponed, that sort of thing. Yet even then eventually she calms than it's back to business sort of thing.</p><p> </p><p>So, basically i agree with you. It is so hard though on us parents, and taxing, time consuming and aggrivating. It's enough at times to make you want to scream. Yet what i've been doing with difficult child is if she acts out aggressively in anyway there's a quick consequence to follow i try best not to engage as of late, i force her to do the consequence if need be. Now, granted difficult child has bipolar, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), adhd, ticks, depression, anxiety. Ok she's pretty much loaded, yet i still hold her accountable. I feel like i have to, if i don't what am I showing her. I feel like she is smart enough and my difficult child is manipulative enough that she will begin to use her mental illness as a weapon of sorts. As far as them remaining in the home after their 18 if their not doing the "right thing". I hate to say it yet if it's a behavioral issue and most of us know our difficult child's or will by that age pretty good, and their being simply defiant than yea it would be same for me as with my other child if you can't contribute and be a part of this household do this this and that than maybe this household isn't for you. Now, granted i'm saying this, yet i'm not sure if i could do it lol.</p><p> </p><p>ok i've rambled............. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> long day. i hope others respond. it's an interesting topic.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 237447, member: 4514"] Hey how are you?? :) Threads fine, your thoughts are shared by many i'm sure. I agree I don't think it gives them a "free pass" at all. Depending on the severity of their illness I think pretty much states what rules should and shouldn't be followed. Yet than again if they are living at home and not in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or out of placement setting then it deems them capable to some extent. I just totally went in a circle with that one. lol sorry was thinking and writing. I think that at the end of the day they should be held accountable, life isn't going to give them a free pass why should we? It just teaches them it's all good dont' worry you don't have to keep up with your hygiene or basic chores just to function as part of a family, etc. Yet I do think that their responsiblities should be according to their capability and as they take on little bit, we increase periodically. What I"m seeing alot of lately is behavior mod stuff. They state it rewires their brains. It's a rigid rigid schedule started early on as soon as diagnosis in place. Entire household is in lock down on this schedule it's rough. It bounces child from free time to chore time to dinner to chore time to free time. I'Tourette's Syndrome a constant back and forth progression through day. I myself am curious to see how it's going to play out in the families that are currently doing this. I know difficult child has certain chores here that she has to do, their not major but there a few. If she doens't do them there's a consequence that follows, ie. like losing tv time, or ds time, etc. Her want and desire to have her privlidges most of the time gets her in gear to take care of her chores. which are few by the way. There are exceptions if she's flying into manic mode and arguing, screaming, etc. they are obviously postponed, that sort of thing. Yet even then eventually she calms than it's back to business sort of thing. So, basically i agree with you. It is so hard though on us parents, and taxing, time consuming and aggrivating. It's enough at times to make you want to scream. Yet what i've been doing with difficult child is if she acts out aggressively in anyway there's a quick consequence to follow i try best not to engage as of late, i force her to do the consequence if need be. Now, granted difficult child has bipolar, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), adhd, ticks, depression, anxiety. Ok she's pretty much loaded, yet i still hold her accountable. I feel like i have to, if i don't what am I showing her. I feel like she is smart enough and my difficult child is manipulative enough that she will begin to use her mental illness as a weapon of sorts. As far as them remaining in the home after their 18 if their not doing the "right thing". I hate to say it yet if it's a behavioral issue and most of us know our difficult child's or will by that age pretty good, and their being simply defiant than yea it would be same for me as with my other child if you can't contribute and be a part of this household do this this and that than maybe this household isn't for you. Now, granted i'm saying this, yet i'm not sure if i could do it lol. ok i've rambled............. :) long day. i hope others respond. it's an interesting topic. [/QUOTE]
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