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<blockquote data-quote="compassion" data-source="post: 237457" data-attributes="member: 6393"><p>I have to majorally choose my battles, paractice acceptance aqand take a lot of down time. If the resentment gets too high, I have to address it in some way. Behavorial contracts do work around here but I have to be very foces on ehat I am addressing. I choose to hire cleaners once a week and pay difficult child some but in the past 7 montshs she really is not able to or chooses not and I have been so focuse don dealing with the crisis du jour. </p><p> In th Nami class they asked us, what is the goal independence or dependence. I do want indepence but this is so far removed from my orginal dreams for her.</p><p> The reality is right now she is not doing a whole lot in the house and demanding tons. I am srrettign I think reasonable boundaries. </p><p> I consider us sitll in crisis mode and it is draing a lot, when the explosive rages are not occuring , it is alot better and she does help more. </p><p> I sam gratful and try to focus on what is done and be sure I am taking csare of me.</p><p> I honetly donot know what realistic expectations are at this point. A few years ago, actually since age 10 she always got her sports stuff together, kept her re=oom fairly resonalbe and currently does not seem able to do this. I rhink the hard point is looking at the adult looking body and thinking she can/che should but that is not always ralslitc. This appies to academics too.</p><p> She is experincing pain along these lines with drivng. I bought my son a car at age 15 and he enjoyed much more eindepeince and has helped me out alot with driving. This is not realsity for her. Her impulsitvity and instability is so great. WE do let her drive with an adult but she is inno way ready to get a license when she turn 16 in a few months. Compassion</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="compassion, post: 237457, member: 6393"] I have to majorally choose my battles, paractice acceptance aqand take a lot of down time. If the resentment gets too high, I have to address it in some way. Behavorial contracts do work around here but I have to be very foces on ehat I am addressing. I choose to hire cleaners once a week and pay difficult child some but in the past 7 montshs she really is not able to or chooses not and I have been so focuse don dealing with the crisis du jour. In th Nami class they asked us, what is the goal independence or dependence. I do want indepence but this is so far removed from my orginal dreams for her. The reality is right now she is not doing a whole lot in the house and demanding tons. I am srrettign I think reasonable boundaries. I consider us sitll in crisis mode and it is draing a lot, when the explosive rages are not occuring , it is alot better and she does help more. I sam gratful and try to focus on what is done and be sure I am taking csare of me. I honetly donot know what realistic expectations are at this point. A few years ago, actually since age 10 she always got her sports stuff together, kept her re=oom fairly resonalbe and currently does not seem able to do this. I rhink the hard point is looking at the adult looking body and thinking she can/che should but that is not always ralslitc. This appies to academics too. She is experincing pain along these lines with drivng. I bought my son a car at age 15 and he enjoyed much more eindepeince and has helped me out alot with driving. This is not realsity for her. Her impulsitvity and instability is so great. WE do let her drive with an adult but she is inno way ready to get a license when she turn 16 in a few months. Compassion [/QUOTE]
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