Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I wonder
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 237518" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Thank you, Mstang, for posting this!</p><p> </p><p>I was actually thinking of venting..er..posting a little on this same issue myself today. I have been trying to decide whether difficult child's behavior is the result of her mental issues--or is it just plain defiant?</p><p> </p><p>Not to hi-jack your thread...but here's what happened in our house last night:</p><p> </p><p>My husband had invited some friends from work over for Saturday--so naturally we want to do a little extra cleaning Friday night. difficult child's regular chore is washing the dishes...so we considered--<em>Do we want to risk a meltdown over changing her routine to include extra tasks tonight</em>? We decided to let her stick to her routine and clean up the dinner dishes as usual--husband would mop the kitchen floor when she finished. Everyone else pitched in by doing a few extra tasks--vacuuming, dusting, etc. etc.</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile--difficult child decided not to do her regular chore at all, and instead sat herself down in the living room to read a book.</p><p> </p><p>So here we all are working together to clean the house. difficult child is reading. And when husband finished his work outside and came indoors to mop the kitchen floor--he was aggravated to find that difficult child had not done anything at all. And when he questioned why she was reading instead of doing her chores--we ended up with that meltdown anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Bottom line is, difficult child did NOTHING...and first had a tantrum in the laundry room, and then after a while went to her bedroom and cried. husband ended up doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen himself...and DS ended up cleaning difficult child's bedroom for her, since she said she was too upset to do it herself and needed help. So there he was--my son, picking up his big sister's dirty laundry.</p><p> </p><p>I was so aggravated! But as you say--there is not one single consequence that she cares about... I cannot physically force her to actually do something if she doesn't want to... If I threaten her with some sort of disciplinary action--that only leads to a meltdown. And there doesn't seem to be any negotiating, because there is a "disconnect" between what she agrees to do and what she actually does.</p><p> </p><p>So what is my choice, here exactly? If I just want peace, I need to let everything go. If I would like to enforce a few rules--it seems that I will have nothing but battles. But if I do not teach her responsibility--how am I preparing her for life as an adult?</p><p> </p><p>It seems that the Mom cannot win...</p><p> </p><p>So I here exactly where you are coming from. I don't have the right answer (obviously)--but I hear you!</p><p> </p><p>Hang in there!</p><p> </p><p>--DaisyF</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 237518, member: 6546"] Thank you, Mstang, for posting this! I was actually thinking of venting..er..posting a little on this same issue myself today. I have been trying to decide whether difficult child's behavior is the result of her mental issues--or is it just plain defiant? Not to hi-jack your thread...but here's what happened in our house last night: My husband had invited some friends from work over for Saturday--so naturally we want to do a little extra cleaning Friday night. difficult child's regular chore is washing the dishes...so we considered--[I]Do we want to risk a meltdown over changing her routine to include extra tasks tonight[/I]? We decided to let her stick to her routine and clean up the dinner dishes as usual--husband would mop the kitchen floor when she finished. Everyone else pitched in by doing a few extra tasks--vacuuming, dusting, etc. etc. Meanwhile--difficult child decided not to do her regular chore at all, and instead sat herself down in the living room to read a book. So here we all are working together to clean the house. difficult child is reading. And when husband finished his work outside and came indoors to mop the kitchen floor--he was aggravated to find that difficult child had not done anything at all. And when he questioned why she was reading instead of doing her chores--we ended up with that meltdown anyway. Bottom line is, difficult child did NOTHING...and first had a tantrum in the laundry room, and then after a while went to her bedroom and cried. husband ended up doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen himself...and DS ended up cleaning difficult child's bedroom for her, since she said she was too upset to do it herself and needed help. So there he was--my son, picking up his big sister's dirty laundry. I was so aggravated! But as you say--there is not one single consequence that she cares about... I cannot physically force her to actually do something if she doesn't want to... If I threaten her with some sort of disciplinary action--that only leads to a meltdown. And there doesn't seem to be any negotiating, because there is a "disconnect" between what she agrees to do and what she actually does. So what is my choice, here exactly? If I just want peace, I need to let everything go. If I would like to enforce a few rules--it seems that I will have nothing but battles. But if I do not teach her responsibility--how am I preparing her for life as an adult? It seems that the Mom cannot win... So I here exactly where you are coming from. I don't have the right answer (obviously)--but I hear you! Hang in there! --DaisyF [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I wonder
Top