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<blockquote data-quote="Janna" data-source="post: 237888" data-attributes="member: 2737"><p>Well, I'm almost there with B. He will be 18 in November. Countless interventions over 10 years with really no result. In home therapies, Residential Treatment Facility (RTF)'s, partials, tdocs, psychiatrists, every doctor LOL! Ridiculous. He has a disorder - he has no disorder - this medication works - this medication doesn't work - why does he need medications, he has no disorder - he has an attitude problem - no, he has ADHD LMAO. It's been, in your own son's words - retarded.</p><p></p><p>So, he is coming out of Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) (you're up to speed, aren't ya?), uhh, tomorrow. Wow. And yeah, he's got expectations. That word cracks me up. Expectations. You know, sometimes I feel like telling these people to stick their expectations up their you-know-what. Get a job, work 40 hours (thanks for that email), do chores, help out, blah blah blah. We have our little "behavior contract", *tee hee*, whatever. He won't follow through. Maybe, just maybe, 8 months out of here (not counting the 4 years he was in foster care and not here) might have woken him up. *Seems* like the light bulb went off, but I'm pessimistic. We'll see. Will he follow along? I dunno.</p><p></p><p>I had him emancipated. Screw it. I'm not dealing with it. We are allowing him to come home, but if he doesn't follow the rules, he's out. Tell ya the truth, I don't care where he goes, I don't care who he calls, and I don't care what he does. He's on his own. Why can't you throw him out? Empathy? Compassion? Worry? Yeah - I have all that, but you know what? I've given him tools, time and time again to help him, and he's chosen to not use them. I've been to all the family therapy sessions where he chooses to talk about basketball and how rich he's going to be when he's famous, and all the cars he's gonna buy LOL - instead of dealing with the issues. I've wasted enough time. Now, you're grown. You're graduated. You're an adult. Welcome to the world of responsibility.</p><p></p><p>You and I have talked enough - you know, I live like you. Everything's locked up. And, the minute he turns 18, he better have a plan. I'm giving him that, provided he can continue to be respectful here, even though he's not my responsibility. But, I have no intention of helping him. I have no desire to assist. I have no anything. Do what you gotta do to get out. And, if you don't, just get out.</p><p></p><p>I should add, though - there are differences between your difficult child and B. B isn't mentall ill. Challenged. Sick. Whatever you want to call it. Thinking, if this was D, what would I do? I don't know. I can't say. D's only 12. But, I'll tell you this, for as "challenged" as D is, he's worked harder in the last year than B has in 10. Does that count for something? Yes. B has an attitude problem. This "everything revolves around me and too bad for everyone else" problem. Has nothing to do with neurological issues, or that he's Bipolar, or any of that. He's not. So, that definately makes some type of difference.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Janna, post: 237888, member: 2737"] Well, I'm almost there with B. He will be 18 in November. Countless interventions over 10 years with really no result. In home therapies, Residential Treatment Facility (RTF)'s, partials, tdocs, psychiatrists, every doctor LOL! Ridiculous. He has a disorder - he has no disorder - this medication works - this medication doesn't work - why does he need medications, he has no disorder - he has an attitude problem - no, he has ADHD LMAO. It's been, in your own son's words - retarded. So, he is coming out of Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) (you're up to speed, aren't ya?), uhh, tomorrow. Wow. And yeah, he's got expectations. That word cracks me up. Expectations. You know, sometimes I feel like telling these people to stick their expectations up their you-know-what. Get a job, work 40 hours (thanks for that email), do chores, help out, blah blah blah. We have our little "behavior contract", *tee hee*, whatever. He won't follow through. Maybe, just maybe, 8 months out of here (not counting the 4 years he was in foster care and not here) might have woken him up. *Seems* like the light bulb went off, but I'm pessimistic. We'll see. Will he follow along? I dunno. I had him emancipated. Screw it. I'm not dealing with it. We are allowing him to come home, but if he doesn't follow the rules, he's out. Tell ya the truth, I don't care where he goes, I don't care who he calls, and I don't care what he does. He's on his own. Why can't you throw him out? Empathy? Compassion? Worry? Yeah - I have all that, but you know what? I've given him tools, time and time again to help him, and he's chosen to not use them. I've been to all the family therapy sessions where he chooses to talk about basketball and how rich he's going to be when he's famous, and all the cars he's gonna buy LOL - instead of dealing with the issues. I've wasted enough time. Now, you're grown. You're graduated. You're an adult. Welcome to the world of responsibility. You and I have talked enough - you know, I live like you. Everything's locked up. And, the minute he turns 18, he better have a plan. I'm giving him that, provided he can continue to be respectful here, even though he's not my responsibility. But, I have no intention of helping him. I have no desire to assist. I have no anything. Do what you gotta do to get out. And, if you don't, just get out. I should add, though - there are differences between your difficult child and B. B isn't mentall ill. Challenged. Sick. Whatever you want to call it. Thinking, if this was D, what would I do? I don't know. I can't say. D's only 12. But, I'll tell you this, for as "challenged" as D is, he's worked harder in the last year than B has in 10. Does that count for something? Yes. B has an attitude problem. This "everything revolves around me and too bad for everyone else" problem. Has nothing to do with neurological issues, or that he's Bipolar, or any of that. He's not. So, that definately makes some type of difference. [/QUOTE]
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