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If I move out, does difficult child "win"?
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 161240" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Thank you all.</p><p> </p><p>I drove to Fredericksburg with-easy child today to check out Mary Washington University. It was just what the dr. ordered. We got to campus 1-1/2 hrs b4 her appointment with-the dir of the art dept, so drove to the historic downtown area and had lunch at a French restaurant. It was heaven. She thinks difficult child is a little bit aspie, too, just very, very highly functioning. We talked a bit, shopped a bit, then she went to her interview and I fell asleep outside next to a fountain for an hr! Heaven.</p><p> </p><p>This is the 4th mattress I've purchased for difficult child. Yes, he can take Desmopressin, but we were trying to train him not to wet the bed. He is guaranteed to wet it if he eats pizza for dinner (wheat and cheese) or if he impulsively drinks a glass of juice b4 bed (sometimes he does it on purpose just to be ornery). We've already got a routine of having him strip the bed and throw the sheets in the laundry but sometimes he insists he didn't wet the bed and distracts us ... can't believe we are still battling this. </p><p> </p><p>Stripping the bed is on his list of chores every day. If he finishes his chores every day, he gets a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. If he does all his chores every day, then on Friday he gets a larger reward. So far, he hasn't made it to Friday having done everything yet.</p><p> </p><p>I think our therapist needs to be more aggressive. The best session we ever had was several months ago when difficult child was having too many meltdowns and the therapist literally sat and yelled at difficult child and said, "No more drama!" difficult child was an angel for a whole month. </p><p> </p><p> by the way, after having read "Look Me in the Eye," and "A Wolf at the Table," reading what a slob the aspie was (major bo, didn't care what he wore or if he showered), and how he liked physical pressure, and having his wife drape her leg across him at night for the weight, it sounded just like difficult child. difficult child is so social, compared to most aspies, people question it, but if you've lived with-him long enough you can see the similarities. </p><p> </p><p>husband and I talked tonight and he thinks that grounding difficult child from TV and computer for 2 wks for sassing me about that sandwich is too harsh. He thinks for difficult child to be denied his Fri night wrestling on the last day of school, when he's bouncing off the walls, will cause a meltdown. I agree in one sense, but in another, think we need to show difficult child we mean business. I'm supposed to be sleeping on it but you can see that isn't happening ...</p><p> </p><p>In regard to the marriage counseling issues, we've been through this b4 easy child was born. It's a long and winding road, way too much to type on this bb. If I can stick it out until the kids are both out of the house, so much the better. But nights like the other night are sometimes just too much. husband has always been too independent ... in fact, when we took a class b4 we were married, we had to write down the word that best described our reason for being married. I said "Companionship." He said "Autonomy." Say what? You'd think I would have seen the writing on the wall.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 161240, member: 3419"] Thank you all. I drove to Fredericksburg with-easy child today to check out Mary Washington University. It was just what the dr. ordered. We got to campus 1-1/2 hrs b4 her appointment with-the dir of the art dept, so drove to the historic downtown area and had lunch at a French restaurant. It was heaven. She thinks difficult child is a little bit aspie, too, just very, very highly functioning. We talked a bit, shopped a bit, then she went to her interview and I fell asleep outside next to a fountain for an hr! Heaven. This is the 4th mattress I've purchased for difficult child. Yes, he can take Desmopressin, but we were trying to train him not to wet the bed. He is guaranteed to wet it if he eats pizza for dinner (wheat and cheese) or if he impulsively drinks a glass of juice b4 bed (sometimes he does it on purpose just to be ornery). We've already got a routine of having him strip the bed and throw the sheets in the laundry but sometimes he insists he didn't wet the bed and distracts us ... can't believe we are still battling this. Stripping the bed is on his list of chores every day. If he finishes his chores every day, he gets a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. If he does all his chores every day, then on Friday he gets a larger reward. So far, he hasn't made it to Friday having done everything yet. I think our therapist needs to be more aggressive. The best session we ever had was several months ago when difficult child was having too many meltdowns and the therapist literally sat and yelled at difficult child and said, "No more drama!" difficult child was an angel for a whole month. by the way, after having read "Look Me in the Eye," and "A Wolf at the Table," reading what a slob the aspie was (major bo, didn't care what he wore or if he showered), and how he liked physical pressure, and having his wife drape her leg across him at night for the weight, it sounded just like difficult child. difficult child is so social, compared to most aspies, people question it, but if you've lived with-him long enough you can see the similarities. husband and I talked tonight and he thinks that grounding difficult child from TV and computer for 2 wks for sassing me about that sandwich is too harsh. He thinks for difficult child to be denied his Fri night wrestling on the last day of school, when he's bouncing off the walls, will cause a meltdown. I agree in one sense, but in another, think we need to show difficult child we mean business. I'm supposed to be sleeping on it but you can see that isn't happening ... In regard to the marriage counseling issues, we've been through this b4 easy child was born. It's a long and winding road, way too much to type on this bb. If I can stick it out until the kids are both out of the house, so much the better. But nights like the other night are sometimes just too much. husband has always been too independent ... in fact, when we took a class b4 we were married, we had to write down the word that best described our reason for being married. I said "Companionship." He said "Autonomy." Say what? You'd think I would have seen the writing on the wall. [/QUOTE]
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