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If it walks like a duck....
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 25765" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p><span style='font-size: 11pt'>I'm with all of the others. It's time for him to go. Whether he is using drugs or not is really not the issue (although I would bet money that he is).</p><p></p><p>The real issue in my mind is that you describe behavior that goes from joking to hatred in seconds and having to walk on eggsheels while he is there. That is not the way you should have to live your life.</p><p></p><p>At 18 he can treat you with respect and respect your rules or find someplace else to live where he can act like he wants. Period.</p><p></p><p>I can say this because we have done this with our daughter. We have kicked her out twice. She went off to live with a difficult child friend, spent nights at various difficult child friends' houses, got evicted from an apartment, and spent the night at a hotel for a few nights (we paid for that). </p><p></p><p>It took a couple of tries but she is now living on her own in an apartment with a roommate paying her own bills. I'm not crazy that she is delivering pizza for a living but at least she is living independently and functioning as an adult. I'll take what I can get.</p><p></p><p>She also has become much nicer to us. I just got back from treating her to dinner and we had a lovely visit. She even responded to my "I love you, difficult child" as we were leaving with an "I love you, too, mom."</p><p></p><p>A few years ago I didn't think I would ever hear that from her.</p><p></p><p>So as hard as it may be, I think kris hit the nail on the head. You need to take a firm stand here.</p><p></p><p>Sending hugs and strength.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 25765, member: 1967"] <span style='font-size: 11pt'>I'm with all of the others. It's time for him to go. Whether he is using drugs or not is really not the issue (although I would bet money that he is). The real issue in my mind is that you describe behavior that goes from joking to hatred in seconds and having to walk on eggsheels while he is there. That is not the way you should have to live your life. At 18 he can treat you with respect and respect your rules or find someplace else to live where he can act like he wants. Period. I can say this because we have done this with our daughter. We have kicked her out twice. She went off to live with a difficult child friend, spent nights at various difficult child friends' houses, got evicted from an apartment, and spent the night at a hotel for a few nights (we paid for that). It took a couple of tries but she is now living on her own in an apartment with a roommate paying her own bills. I'm not crazy that she is delivering pizza for a living but at least she is living independently and functioning as an adult. I'll take what I can get. She also has become much nicer to us. I just got back from treating her to dinner and we had a lovely visit. She even responded to my "I love you, difficult child" as we were leaving with an "I love you, too, mom." A few years ago I didn't think I would ever hear that from her. So as hard as it may be, I think kris hit the nail on the head. You need to take a firm stand here. Sending hugs and strength. ~Kathy</span> [/QUOTE]
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