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Parent Emeritus
If it wasn't so sad it would almost be funny.......
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 622677" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I'm so sorry JKF, I know how crushing those disappointments can be. It takes us a long time to stop getting on the difficult child train because up ahead there is usually a wreck and we're the last to know about it.</p><p></p><p>Your son has been given so many chances, you've done more for him in so many different ways for so long and none of it has made a difference in his choices and his lifestyle. It certainly appears as if he must now need to figure it all out for himself. I feel bad for you and for your Dad. As in the case of many of our difficult child's, they are clueless to the ramifications of their choices.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you are focusing on yourself now, and of course your younger son and your husband. It's time to let go. </p><p></p><p>JKF, they are who they are, we don't understand it, we can't condone it, however, through their perspective, it is a viable lifestyle choice. It's helped me to stop my expectations that my difficult child show up in the way others do......and if I can do that, it helps me to then stop judging her and begin accepting just what is. Then I can let go of my angers and resentments and hurts and sorrow and find my own peace of mind. It's a difficult journey riddled with land mines, but as we tread so carefully though it all, we can emerge out the other side and have a good life regardless of what our difficult child's are up to. And, as you know and we all know here, it ain't easy.</p><p></p><p>Do kind things for yourself JKF, nurture yourself, curl up with that good book the way you like to, have a glass of wine with your husband and enjoy your other son. I am saying a prayer for you and your difficult child and your family......and sending big hugs too......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 622677, member: 13542"] I'm so sorry JKF, I know how crushing those disappointments can be. It takes us a long time to stop getting on the difficult child train because up ahead there is usually a wreck and we're the last to know about it. Your son has been given so many chances, you've done more for him in so many different ways for so long and none of it has made a difference in his choices and his lifestyle. It certainly appears as if he must now need to figure it all out for himself. I feel bad for you and for your Dad. As in the case of many of our difficult child's, they are clueless to the ramifications of their choices. I'm glad you are focusing on yourself now, and of course your younger son and your husband. It's time to let go. JKF, they are who they are, we don't understand it, we can't condone it, however, through their perspective, it is a viable lifestyle choice. It's helped me to stop my expectations that my difficult child show up in the way others do......and if I can do that, it helps me to then stop judging her and begin accepting just what is. Then I can let go of my angers and resentments and hurts and sorrow and find my own peace of mind. It's a difficult journey riddled with land mines, but as we tread so carefully though it all, we can emerge out the other side and have a good life regardless of what our difficult child's are up to. And, as you know and we all know here, it ain't easy. Do kind things for yourself JKF, nurture yourself, curl up with that good book the way you like to, have a glass of wine with your husband and enjoy your other son. I am saying a prayer for you and your difficult child and your family......and sending big hugs too...... [/QUOTE]
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If it wasn't so sad it would almost be funny.......
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