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General Parenting
If only my skin were thicker
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 116864" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>I think it helps to realize that many times it's not about you. You are just the vessel that gets to carry his frustration. It's ugly but I try to figure out if he is talking to me or at me. </p><p></p><p>The other is that I ask if he would like to be spoken to in the way he spoke to me. I tell him I have feelings too.(teaching empathy). My other regular phrase is "if you were the parent and I was the child, how would feel if I said to you what difficult child just said?" I keep thinking if I cue him into realizing that there is a person under the mom hat that he would ease up.</p><p></p><p>At 23, difficult child is pretty appropriate. He says things that are somewhat hurtful but it is usually when I am pushing him into something he is anxious. </p><p></p><p>My favorite "sometimes I simply can't stand you, mom" My thoughts exactly about how I feel at times about him. If I feel it, he feels it. I let that stuff roll off my back. No name calling can happen. Its not really a problem though. </p><p></p><p>Good luck and know he is battling demons and you are his best help. Don't be beaten by his words.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 116864, member: 3"] I think it helps to realize that many times it's not about you. You are just the vessel that gets to carry his frustration. It's ugly but I try to figure out if he is talking to me or at me. The other is that I ask if he would like to be spoken to in the way he spoke to me. I tell him I have feelings too.(teaching empathy). My other regular phrase is "if you were the parent and I was the child, how would feel if I said to you what difficult child just said?" I keep thinking if I cue him into realizing that there is a person under the mom hat that he would ease up. At 23, difficult child is pretty appropriate. He says things that are somewhat hurtful but it is usually when I am pushing him into something he is anxious. My favorite "sometimes I simply can't stand you, mom" My thoughts exactly about how I feel at times about him. If I feel it, he feels it. I let that stuff roll off my back. No name calling can happen. Its not really a problem though. Good luck and know he is battling demons and you are his best help. Don't be beaten by his words. [/QUOTE]
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If only my skin were thicker
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