Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
If you don't detach from your adult difficult children.......
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 612514"><p>Under your circumstances, it is normal for you to feel the tug of sadness, Geewiz. Having a son who has made such bad choices is very very tough (plus the other losses in your life too). When you read our posts here, I'm sure you can see that we are all fighting sadness and in a way, relearning how to enjoy life. Once our children become adults, it is really up to them to figure out how to make do in life. If they are genuinely ill and genuinely want help and genuinely will use and appreciate that help we give them, sure...we can provide some limited help. But, very often, those criteria are not met. We can NOT PUT OUR LIVES ON HOLD, waiting for changes that may not ever happen. Set up boundaries as appropriate for the situation. If you haven't gone to a therapist, you might consider it. Especially if he is using drugs, you might go to a Families Anonymous meeting. Drugs are not the issue for my difficult child, but I went to a few and 99% of the parents in that group have near adult or adult kids who are using and these parents are helping one another in a major way. NAMI (mental illness), as mentioned, is another very good support group. Do your very best to only associate with kind, caring, true, loving friends and relatives. Consider reading helpful, spiritual and uplifting literature. Take extra good care of yourself...getting in some exercise and take your vitamins! (At the very least, a multi vitamin!!!!). It is very hard, but you can make it to happiness again and it is worth it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 612514"] Under your circumstances, it is normal for you to feel the tug of sadness, Geewiz. Having a son who has made such bad choices is very very tough (plus the other losses in your life too). When you read our posts here, I'm sure you can see that we are all fighting sadness and in a way, relearning how to enjoy life. Once our children become adults, it is really up to them to figure out how to make do in life. If they are genuinely ill and genuinely want help and genuinely will use and appreciate that help we give them, sure...we can provide some limited help. But, very often, those criteria are not met. We can NOT PUT OUR LIVES ON HOLD, waiting for changes that may not ever happen. Set up boundaries as appropriate for the situation. If you haven't gone to a therapist, you might consider it. Especially if he is using drugs, you might go to a Families Anonymous meeting. Drugs are not the issue for my difficult child, but I went to a few and 99% of the parents in that group have near adult or adult kids who are using and these parents are helping one another in a major way. NAMI (mental illness), as mentioned, is another very good support group. Do your very best to only associate with kind, caring, true, loving friends and relatives. Consider reading helpful, spiritual and uplifting literature. Take extra good care of yourself...getting in some exercise and take your vitamins! (At the very least, a multi vitamin!!!!). It is very hard, but you can make it to happiness again and it is worth it. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
If you don't detach from your adult difficult children.......
Top