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If you don't detach from your adult difficult children.......
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 612861" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Scott our stories are very similar. My son was a complete pain in the rear growing up. We tried everything possible. Everything came to a head when he turned 21 and decided that because I wasnt home to give him a birthday gift, he would simply steal my checks and forge them. I had had it and I pressed charges on him. He now has 3 felonies because of that. After the punishment he got (plus I almost died less than a month after he got out of a 30 day jail stint) he seemed to come around. Of course he was on intensive probation for several years and that kept him somewhat in line. </p><p></p><p>We actually built the trust back up with him after a few years. I tested him from time to time by leaving money out when he came over and he never touched it. Then this past spring everything went to hell in a handbasket. But now he is 27 and I am not going down with his sinking ship. He stole from us again but this time I didnt even have the umpf in me to deal with the cops. I dont want to spend my time in courtrooms. We finally just kicked him out. He did manage to find a camper and live in our backyard for awhile but a month ago he and his girlfriend and two year old found an old house to rent. I doubt they will be there long. Whatever. The only reason we see him at all is because of his child. Well actually he has two little girls but the older one lives with her mother. I see the older girl weekly and she spends the weekends with us every other week. She loves her daddy but isnt depending on him and doesnt even ask if he isnt here. She knows she is coming to Papa and Grandma. If she happens to see her daddy thats okay with her but she doesnt ask us to take her to him. </p><p></p><p>I also hope my son figures it out and turns around but I am not going to be the one who searches out help for him. He is old enough to do that himself. At his age his father and I were taking care of 3 kids by ourselves with no help from anyone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 612861, member: 1514"] Scott our stories are very similar. My son was a complete pain in the rear growing up. We tried everything possible. Everything came to a head when he turned 21 and decided that because I wasnt home to give him a birthday gift, he would simply steal my checks and forge them. I had had it and I pressed charges on him. He now has 3 felonies because of that. After the punishment he got (plus I almost died less than a month after he got out of a 30 day jail stint) he seemed to come around. Of course he was on intensive probation for several years and that kept him somewhat in line. We actually built the trust back up with him after a few years. I tested him from time to time by leaving money out when he came over and he never touched it. Then this past spring everything went to hell in a handbasket. But now he is 27 and I am not going down with his sinking ship. He stole from us again but this time I didnt even have the umpf in me to deal with the cops. I dont want to spend my time in courtrooms. We finally just kicked him out. He did manage to find a camper and live in our backyard for awhile but a month ago he and his girlfriend and two year old found an old house to rent. I doubt they will be there long. Whatever. The only reason we see him at all is because of his child. Well actually he has two little girls but the older one lives with her mother. I see the older girl weekly and she spends the weekends with us every other week. She loves her daddy but isnt depending on him and doesnt even ask if he isnt here. She knows she is coming to Papa and Grandma. If she happens to see her daddy thats okay with her but she doesnt ask us to take her to him. I also hope my son figures it out and turns around but I am not going to be the one who searches out help for him. He is old enough to do that himself. At his age his father and I were taking care of 3 kids by ourselves with no help from anyone. [/QUOTE]
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