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Healthful Living / Natural Treatments
I'm back from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 340000" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Alyssa,</p><p>First of all, sending hugs. Many soft gentle hugs.</p><p></p><p>One thing I learned when I was receiving treatment for anorexia and bulimia is that in addition to all the other gunk, there's a huge Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) component. It really is a catch-22. They're going to force you to eat, which is going to force you to gain, which causes panic, which makes you want to perform your rituals, which are soothing and calming, but which make you lose more weight, which makes them want to force you to eat... and on it goes.</p><p></p><p>Please tell your husband from me not to force feed you. It's counterproductive. I once had a boyfriend sit on me and force-feed me hamburgers in a very misguided attempt to help. Set my treatment back months, that did.</p><p></p><p>The doctors need to focus on getting your body healthy enough first that you have the internal strength to focus on the long journey of getting well. That requires gaining enough body mass that you're within the typical range. There's no getting around it. It feels all wrong at first. I remember feeling like my skin didn't fit, like I was being stuffed like a sausage. But I also remember starting to like the feeling of not being cold all the time, not being nauseated all the time. Being able to walk around without feeling dizzy and lightheaded. Not having to balance the calories with the purging and the exercising. </p><p></p><p>When I realized that the mental burden of anorexia was heavier than the weight they were trying to put back on my body, recovery became that much easier. Not easy, by any stretch, but possible.</p><p></p><p>I know it's so hard to know what to do when you have these two desires competing with each other inside you. But you've already shown such strength in sending yourself to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) the first time. Like any recovery, there will be a few false starts before you find the path that works for you. We will walk the path with you. Lean on us when you need to.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p><p></p><p>We're here for you. Please post whenever you need to.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 340000, member: 3907"] Alyssa, First of all, sending hugs. Many soft gentle hugs. One thing I learned when I was receiving treatment for anorexia and bulimia is that in addition to all the other gunk, there's a huge Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) component. It really is a catch-22. They're going to force you to eat, which is going to force you to gain, which causes panic, which makes you want to perform your rituals, which are soothing and calming, but which make you lose more weight, which makes them want to force you to eat... and on it goes. Please tell your husband from me not to force feed you. It's counterproductive. I once had a boyfriend sit on me and force-feed me hamburgers in a very misguided attempt to help. Set my treatment back months, that did. The doctors need to focus on getting your body healthy enough first that you have the internal strength to focus on the long journey of getting well. That requires gaining enough body mass that you're within the typical range. There's no getting around it. It feels all wrong at first. I remember feeling like my skin didn't fit, like I was being stuffed like a sausage. But I also remember starting to like the feeling of not being cold all the time, not being nauseated all the time. Being able to walk around without feeling dizzy and lightheaded. Not having to balance the calories with the purging and the exercising. When I realized that the mental burden of anorexia was heavier than the weight they were trying to put back on my body, recovery became that much easier. Not easy, by any stretch, but possible. I know it's so hard to know what to do when you have these two desires competing with each other inside you. But you've already shown such strength in sending yourself to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) the first time. Like any recovery, there will be a few false starts before you find the path that works for you. We will walk the path with you. Lean on us when you need to. Trinity We're here for you. Please post whenever you need to. [/QUOTE]
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