I'm back

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Sammy_girl, Jan 12, 2007.

  1. Sammy_girl

    Sammy_girl New Member

    I am back! difficult child 2 has wound back up again, luckily it has not landed him in the hospital again, but it is getting there. psychiatrist saw him two maybe three times, and now I can’t get a hold of him to get an appointment. Therapist keeps standing us up. So I am on the hunt again. In the past month, we have had 4 MAJOR breakdowns, two have been at school, one resulted in suspension :9-07tears:, the other resulted in the police being called /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif (he left school grounds, what do you expect?) Now if I am going to be away from any phone I need to call the school and let them know. On a good note, the school psychiatric saw his last fit and his “theory” yes, he may have an anxiety issue, but the bigger problem is a mood disorder. I have been saying that all along!
    To add insult to injury, difficult child 1 is starting up again too. Since I am not spanking either one of them, my mother swears all of this is my fault, and I do not know how to handle my kids.
    Happy times again, just so everyone knows, I have figured out how to keep my stress level down… I am training for triathlons this summer!
  2. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    Thats what my family says. lol If only I knew how to handle him and give him a good spanking all would be well. My mom at least changed her tune after difficult child tried to seriously hurt easy child 1 and easy child 2. I think that shocked her into 'well maybe just a spanking won't fix it.'
  3. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    <<<HUGS>>> I am so sorry for the ordeal you endured, I am afraid our future could mirror what you're going through right now. One day at a time.
  4. Sammy_girl

    Sammy_girl New Member

    It has gotten to the point numerous time that I feel the need that it may be necessary to call the police on difficult child 2 (6 years old) because of how violent he gets with me. I am not a little thing; I am on the larger side with a good amount of muscle. It wasn’t until difficult child 2’s teacher said there was no warning, which my mom was willing to believe that, coming from here, some times, there is no stopping it before it gets into full swing. We keep our chin up and keep on going!
    :smile:boy that looks like outside my window! * me this morning (sorry, I thought they were cute!
  5. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Does sound like there is more going on with difficult child 2. i agree. I know how tough it is to find a reliable, good therapist. We have been through it all.

    Are your difficult child's in any special classes? Self contained? It really helped my difficult child be able to keep herself under control.

    I hated hearing, "If you just spanked her more...". /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif If it were that simple do you think I would go through all this? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif That burns me up.

  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    This kid has been diagnosed with "possible" everything under the sun. I don't think a talk therapist will help you one bit at this point, even a good one. The child sounds like he has some disorder, and it is still undiagnosed, and that takes medical and neurological training. Talking and behavioral mod rarely works until a child is stable. in my opinion you should take him to a NeuroPsychologist (only the neuro type and not a neurologist, although a seperate neurological appointment. never hurts) and have this kid tested, evaluated and observed. I doubt he has everything listed and until you know what it is, and he is medicated correctly for it, he will be violent. I personally think it's extreme to call the police on a six year old who probably can't control himself. That will probably only lead to foster care, which, again, in my opinion only (as an ex-foster parnet) is not the answer either. Those parents know only as much as you do, and probably less, about how to parent your child. You could get into trouble too if you mess with the cops. I'd put him in the hospital--a good one--they aren't all good--if he gets violent again. Maybe the testing he gets there will be good enough to at least give him a start. You shouldn't have to put up with it, but I doubt he has control. ODD is sort of a universal diagnosis, and probably all the kids on this site meet the criteria, but it rarely stands alone and is usually the result of a bigger issue/mental illness/neurological problem. I wish you luck in this difficult journey. As for spanking, that would likely make him worse and more violent. This has nothing to do with discipline.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry things are winding up with both difficult children. I'm sorry you are dealing with the violence directed at you. I know how much that hurts physically and emotionally. I think MWM has a good idea about having him seen by a specialist. Many hugs to you.
  8. Sammy_girl

    Sammy_girl New Member

    As far as I am concerned, spanking only teaches violence. That is me, some people see it differently, that is up to them.
    I am at the point, I don’t care what the diagnose is, as long as someone can tell me what is going on with my little guy, and what I can do to help him. I mentioned in passing that at the current rate difficult child 2 may have to go back to the hospital, difficult child 1 said “mommy, please don’t. I don’t want to see you cry again.” :9-07tears:I almost started crying at that one.
    I am hoping this new person will be more willing to help. I don’t care if they think I am nuts asking for a full evaluation, at this point, something drastic needs to be done and it needs to be done now. I just found out the school principal had to sit in difficult child 2’s classroom today (out of his site) because he was giving the impression he was about to flare up. Luckily he went the other way and slept half the afternoon. That is something he was doing this weekend. Sleeping. He would get a little fussy and then decided to go to sleep! His school is being very understanding. :smile:His teacher is making sure he is challenged at all times, she noticed on day one, if he is not challenged, she looses him.
    difficult child 1 is starting to add insult to injury as well. He is starting to steal again. He completely ignores my sister (who we live with) when she asks or tells him to do something. I don’t know. I refuse to quit but there are times, I just want to stick my head in the ground and pretend like this is not happening to me!
  9. Sara PA

    Sara PA New Member

    ADD or ADHD? The stare off daydreaming type or the can't keep still type?
  10. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I suggest that you call your local Children's Hospital and ask for a multi-disciplinary evaluation. Start there, first. It does appear that perhaps both children are misdiagnosed.

    I'm curious to find out why he's falling asleep in the middle of the school day. Have there been times when he appears to just stare off? If so, is it shortly after that he gets fussy or wants to go to sleep?
  11. Sammy_girl

    Sammy_girl New Member

    At first I thought his sleeping was due to the medications, usually it is within the first 24 hours of getting a new patch that difficult child 2 sleeps a lot until yesterday, he was 3 days into the patch. So this reaction should not be happening.
    I got called to the school again today. So the past two weeks are as follows:
    1/8 – home sick
    1/9 – lost it and got suspended
    1/10 – home on suspension
    1/11 – fit, got called to school
    1/12 – fussy, did not get called thank goodness!
    1/13 – pretty good day
    1/14 – did not want to go to church, but went anyway, no major problem
    1/15 – holiday, slept latter half of the day
    1/16 – fussy, did not get called to school
    1/17 – lost it, got called to school

    I was able to get him an earlier appointment with the new psychiatrist, I still have to wait until next week, but it is better than waiting until 1 Feb. I was in tears on my way to the school today. I don’t know what is going on in his little brain, and I don’t know how to help him. I will definitely see what I can do about the multi-disciplinary evaluation. I have a feeling I can get our family doctor to help with that one.
    I just feel sorry for the poor kid. Oh, yea, and he and his brother got cap guns (that look like riffles) for Christmas from their father’s side. AHHHHH!