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I'm reading about parents who did send their child to a Residential Treatment Center (RTC)...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 256671"><p><span style="color: #000080">Hmmmm</span></p><p><span style="color: #000080">First of all, I know this is easier said than done...but as soon as you can and as best as you can...please do not blame yourself for anything. This includes things in the distant past and things in the not so distant past. In addition, don't compare yourself or your family with another.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #000080">We sent our son to a TBS. It was an extraordinarily difficult and complicated decision. There were good moments and not so good ones. The owner had his own problems. We found out later some of the details. And honestly, the situation there was CRAZY and COMPLICATED. This is the UNDERSTATEMENT of the year. Our son left early and we finished up with a really good therapist locally. He did benefit from going to a TBS, but it took its toll on us emotionally and we are still paying the price financially. I am grateful for the help the experience provided on our son, but it took a pound of my hide and my life.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #000080">It's NEVER too late to learn from your mistakes...but the decision whether or not to send your son to a TBS is not something in my humble opinion to worry about needlessly. To be truthful about it, my son is the <strong>EXCEPTION </strong>to his class. The EXCEPTION. MOST of the students in his class, continue to do drugs and be oppositional. <strong>It is A SAD AND HORRID FACT!</strong></span></p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: #000080">Like GG said...most of these programs just simply keep the kids safe and perhaps give mom and dad a breather....and opportunity to get their own therapy if needed.</span></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #000080">If you feel that you should not be your son's friend...go ahead and take this advice.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #000080">However, don't beat yourself up over this. You did not have bad intentions.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #000080">If your son is taking advantage of your good spirit...that is on him...not you. </span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #000080">You can set an example for your son at this point, by refusing to listen to inappropriate verbage. Let him get therapy and decide to make good choices in life. Let him see you doing the same. Let him see you be an example of good self esteem. A role model of good self esteem. This will mean not listening to others (including him) try to beat you down by saying that you were not a good parent. YOu did the best you could. I'm sure you will provide counseling and/or educational experiences if he asks for it...and this is what a good parent would do. He needs to stop complaining and start doing what he needs to do to further his education or work or whatever is appropriate...not tear you down. Don't listen to him spew anything negative towards you and likewise don't allow yourself to speak to you in that manner either.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000080">One more thing...what REALLY made a difference...the BIGGEST difference by far for our son, was when he decided/made a personal decision for change. We did the "tough love" thing. He also had a very good therapist at the time helping him. HE got a pt job and was taking a college course. HE had no extras from us. We could "see" the changes taking place with-i him. THAT made the biggest difference in our son by far. It was HIS own choices. In the mean time...I was moving on and refused to take any responsibility for his #$@!.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 256671"] [COLOR=#000080]Hmmmm[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]First of all, I know this is easier said than done...but as soon as you can and as best as you can...please do not blame yourself for anything. This includes things in the distant past and things in the not so distant past. In addition, don't compare yourself or your family with another.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]We sent our son to a TBS. It was an extraordinarily difficult and complicated decision. There were good moments and not so good ones. The owner had his own problems. We found out later some of the details. And honestly, the situation there was CRAZY and COMPLICATED. This is the UNDERSTATEMENT of the year. Our son left early and we finished up with a really good therapist locally. He did benefit from going to a TBS, but it took its toll on us emotionally and we are still paying the price financially. I am grateful for the help the experience provided on our son, but it took a pound of my hide and my life.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]It's NEVER too late to learn from your mistakes...but the decision whether or not to send your son to a TBS is not something in my humble opinion to worry about needlessly. To be truthful about it, my son is the [B]EXCEPTION [/B]to his class. The EXCEPTION. MOST of the students in his class, continue to do drugs and be oppositional. [B]It is A SAD AND HORRID FACT![/B][/COLOR] [B][COLOR=#000080]Like GG said...most of these programs just simply keep the kids safe and perhaps give mom and dad a breather....and opportunity to get their own therapy if needed.[/COLOR][/B] [COLOR=#000080]If you feel that you should not be your son's friend...go ahead and take this advice.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]However, don't beat yourself up over this. You did not have bad intentions.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]If your son is taking advantage of your good spirit...that is on him...not you. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]You can set an example for your son at this point, by refusing to listen to inappropriate verbage. Let him get therapy and decide to make good choices in life. Let him see you doing the same. Let him see you be an example of good self esteem. A role model of good self esteem. This will mean not listening to others (including him) try to beat you down by saying that you were not a good parent. YOu did the best you could. I'm sure you will provide counseling and/or educational experiences if he asks for it...and this is what a good parent would do. He needs to stop complaining and start doing what he needs to do to further his education or work or whatever is appropriate...not tear you down. Don't listen to him spew anything negative towards you and likewise don't allow yourself to speak to you in that manner either.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]One more thing...what REALLY made a difference...the BIGGEST difference by far for our son, was when he decided/made a personal decision for change. We did the "tough love" thing. He also had a very good therapist at the time helping him. HE got a pt job and was taking a college course. HE had no extras from us. We could "see" the changes taking place with-i him. THAT made the biggest difference in our son by far. It was HIS own choices. In the mean time...I was moving on and refused to take any responsibility for his #$@!.[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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I'm reading about parents who did send their child to a Residential Treatment Center (RTC)...
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