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I'm really worried
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 361432" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Honey, </p><p> </p><p>I think you are overthinking EVERYTHING. in my humble opinion (and I could be wrong) but I think the LESS public you make YOURself, the better off the "SYSTEM" is going to think of YOU period. In this case it would be the quiet wheel they are looking for. </p><p> </p><p>As far as your son going to live with your brother? Okay - this man has psychiatric issues correct? Wouldn't he have to undergo some psychiatric. testing BEFORE he would be allowed to become any type of guardian to your son? I think he would. If that's the case, and being like he is you say he is....don't you think that a trained professional would see through his crud? I do. </p><p> </p><p>And.....lets just say for arguments sake that your brother WERE to 'fake' his way through a psychiatric exam and pass with flying colors to be your sons guardian....(hypothetically speaking) these are my two schools of thought. </p><p>1.) YOU KNOW YOUR SON better than anyone. Do you honestly think your brother will be able to control him or make him behave or listen any better than anyone else? You keep placing SO MUCH OF THE Conduct disorder blame on YOURSELF - it's a mental disease....you can't control it. NO ONE has THAT kind of power. Not you, not me, not the dozens of people that saw Dude....and certainly NOT your brother. So if he DID go to live there - (hypothetically speaking) I doubt it would be for very long and then people are going to be asking your brother WHAT is going on???? At this point the blame isn't going to be anyones - no one's but difficult child's. (like it should be at his age) he is old enough to make choices. </p><p>2.) And this is the really hard one no one wants to hear....BUT....as a friend I will...because well....it just needs to be said and I had to several times in Dudes life choose MY FEELINGS and MY THOUGHTS of what I KNEW WOULD BE BAD, WRONG, over what everyone else said could be best for Dude....so hear me out. I mean do you think I LIKED him ever living in anyplace but my home? Heck no - but I allowed it in hopes it would be the help he needed. So.....WHAT IF.....your brother IS ABLE TO HELP YOUR SON?? (shhhhh) hear me out. WHAT IF....There is a click between them, and your son tows the line with Uncle weirdo? You don't, I wouldn't.....most people nope.....but maybe....just maybe.....he goes there and WHAM.....son listens and behaves and it's good it is all good? Are you going to hate your brother for THAT? Are you going to begrudge your son for improving? OF course not...but, but.....NO BUTS. IT COULD HAPPEN. Weirder things have. And obviously what is happening now? Is not. </p><p> </p><p>That's all I'm saying. I know a lot of times when I feel my back is against the wall I want control over SOMETHING ......ANYTHING.....usually it manifests itself in anger, or in finding fault with everyone else. I pick.....I don't do that so much anymore because I know exactly what it is when I start to do it it and I don't like it. It's pretty natural, but try to focus on the things that you CAN make positive in YOUR life. Worrying about things won't make a single bit of difference or bring about change or good and in a months time - you could sit back and go - WOW worrying did me nothing but waste time I could have spent doing more productive things. </p><p> </p><p>I know you are just worried.....this is what happens when we worry - USE YOUR POWERS FOR GOOD KLMNO GIRL!!!!! </p><p> </p><p>Much hugs and love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 361432, member: 4964"] Honey, I think you are overthinking EVERYTHING. in my humble opinion (and I could be wrong) but I think the LESS public you make YOURself, the better off the "SYSTEM" is going to think of YOU period. In this case it would be the quiet wheel they are looking for. As far as your son going to live with your brother? Okay - this man has psychiatric issues correct? Wouldn't he have to undergo some psychiatric. testing BEFORE he would be allowed to become any type of guardian to your son? I think he would. If that's the case, and being like he is you say he is....don't you think that a trained professional would see through his crud? I do. And.....lets just say for arguments sake that your brother WERE to 'fake' his way through a psychiatric exam and pass with flying colors to be your sons guardian....(hypothetically speaking) these are my two schools of thought. 1.) YOU KNOW YOUR SON better than anyone. Do you honestly think your brother will be able to control him or make him behave or listen any better than anyone else? You keep placing SO MUCH OF THE Conduct disorder blame on YOURSELF - it's a mental disease....you can't control it. NO ONE has THAT kind of power. Not you, not me, not the dozens of people that saw Dude....and certainly NOT your brother. So if he DID go to live there - (hypothetically speaking) I doubt it would be for very long and then people are going to be asking your brother WHAT is going on???? At this point the blame isn't going to be anyones - no one's but difficult child's. (like it should be at his age) he is old enough to make choices. 2.) And this is the really hard one no one wants to hear....BUT....as a friend I will...because well....it just needs to be said and I had to several times in Dudes life choose MY FEELINGS and MY THOUGHTS of what I KNEW WOULD BE BAD, WRONG, over what everyone else said could be best for Dude....so hear me out. I mean do you think I LIKED him ever living in anyplace but my home? Heck no - but I allowed it in hopes it would be the help he needed. So.....WHAT IF.....your brother IS ABLE TO HELP YOUR SON?? (shhhhh) hear me out. WHAT IF....There is a click between them, and your son tows the line with Uncle weirdo? You don't, I wouldn't.....most people nope.....but maybe....just maybe.....he goes there and WHAM.....son listens and behaves and it's good it is all good? Are you going to hate your brother for THAT? Are you going to begrudge your son for improving? OF course not...but, but.....NO BUTS. IT COULD HAPPEN. Weirder things have. And obviously what is happening now? Is not. That's all I'm saying. I know a lot of times when I feel my back is against the wall I want control over SOMETHING ......ANYTHING.....usually it manifests itself in anger, or in finding fault with everyone else. I pick.....I don't do that so much anymore because I know exactly what it is when I start to do it it and I don't like it. It's pretty natural, but try to focus on the things that you CAN make positive in YOUR life. Worrying about things won't make a single bit of difference or bring about change or good and in a months time - you could sit back and go - WOW worrying did me nothing but waste time I could have spent doing more productive things. I know you are just worried.....this is what happens when we worry - USE YOUR POWERS FOR GOOD KLMNO GIRL!!!!! Much hugs and love Star [/QUOTE]
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