Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
I'm really worried
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 361564" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thanks, Ladies! I'm sorry I was so snappy while posting about the whole thing before. I saw difficult child today and I think maybe he's starting to come back to earth a little. He's saying he wants to live at home now so that helped relieved a little of my fear about him going to dss. And as long as I let them know that I had no reason to fear for my life or safety after he came home from Department of Juvenile Justice, they might not pursue that route. But I do feel sure that either the defense attny or GAL or both might try just as a defense for difficult child- like last year.</p><p></p><p>I'm going to use this nightmare situation with the house and loss of work as an opportunity to get out of this jurisdiction and start over. I don't know yet how little I'll have to start over with, but it sure won't be much. Everything I worked for the past 20+ years is has been wiped out. But you know, if I had to be wiped out I can't think of anything more important to use the "stuff"" for than fighting to keep custody of my own bio-son, advocating for him, etc. So while I'm not happy about it and wish I had done some things differently, I could never be like my mother who would have chosen to save her money no matter what happened to me.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully, the health benefits thru the VA will come thru soon and I can see an MD and a therapist soon- I already told them I'd want these appts asap.</p><p></p><p>I agree, as well, about keeping a low profile right now with the courts people. I know better than to even advocate for anything for difficult child right now- if I mentioned it, he wouldn't get it. The last time I went to court I had to sit and listen to these attnys and court services people- the oldest of which was probably early 30's and none looked old enough to have a child past the age of 5 if they have college dgrees- chat in their little clique while awaiting each of their court hearings. They were talking about which case goes to Department of Juvenile Justice, gets appealed, etc, and laughing about this parent or that parent who comes over their asking for something like Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or MH treatment and rolling their eyes about parents like that. If it isn't an idea of theirs, you can almost forget it happening.</p><p></p><p>But, there's another forum about courts and so forth and parents are really hammering this one and saying they have filed suits, or written letters, or submitted formal complaints. Given the way the psychiatric responded the other day, I'm wondering if the "higher ups" in the county were maybe alerted that they need to be overseeing some things a little more. They quit using that old GAL already- that's a good sign.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, I just want out of this jurisdiction and am ready to form a plan about starting over. I think this will give difficult child a better chance than coming back to the same friends and house he'd damaged. It was depressing for both of us. So whether it's in 10 days, 6 weeks, or 3-6 months, I don't plan on having the same frame of mind about it.</p><p></p><p>Star- the reason dss would not be checking my bro out any deeper is because he's a family member. It would still be a foster care placement though because it's not resulting from me being found unfit or having my parental rights terminated or me doing it willingly. They (dss) would be required to have review hearings every so often for one year, then after one year a court hearing is held and it is determined if parental rights should be changed from the parent to the custodian or if the child is to return to the parent. It's almost impossible for them to terminate my parental rights in a situation like this because this is not a cps case and I have not been found incompetent. That wasn't my worry. My worry was (and is) the damage and harm that could be done to difficult child during that time period.</p><p></p><p>difficult child and I also discussed the continuing impact of his lies last year where he blamed me instead of owning up to all he'd done. In this situation, think of the impact of difficult child saying "I have not been staying awake roaming the house at night- my Mom is just paranoid". While I, on the other hand, have phone records indicating phone calls being made from this house all night long and the phone had been placed in my bedroom when I went to bed. And keys were in my bedroom but somehow cigs were missing out of the trunk of my car. What some call my paranoia, I call their denial. LOL!! And the same with my bro- do you think he'd ever admit what all he'd done? </p><p></p><p>I'm waiting on my records from the military. If they have the slightest statement in there about my bro trying to molest me, it will prove that I didn't just make that up to prevent him getting difficult child because that was about 15 years before difficult child was born.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 361564, member: 3699"] Thanks, Ladies! I'm sorry I was so snappy while posting about the whole thing before. I saw difficult child today and I think maybe he's starting to come back to earth a little. He's saying he wants to live at home now so that helped relieved a little of my fear about him going to dss. And as long as I let them know that I had no reason to fear for my life or safety after he came home from Department of Juvenile Justice, they might not pursue that route. But I do feel sure that either the defense attny or GAL or both might try just as a defense for difficult child- like last year. I'm going to use this nightmare situation with the house and loss of work as an opportunity to get out of this jurisdiction and start over. I don't know yet how little I'll have to start over with, but it sure won't be much. Everything I worked for the past 20+ years is has been wiped out. But you know, if I had to be wiped out I can't think of anything more important to use the "stuff"" for than fighting to keep custody of my own bio-son, advocating for him, etc. So while I'm not happy about it and wish I had done some things differently, I could never be like my mother who would have chosen to save her money no matter what happened to me. Hopefully, the health benefits thru the VA will come thru soon and I can see an MD and a therapist soon- I already told them I'd want these appts asap. I agree, as well, about keeping a low profile right now with the courts people. I know better than to even advocate for anything for difficult child right now- if I mentioned it, he wouldn't get it. The last time I went to court I had to sit and listen to these attnys and court services people- the oldest of which was probably early 30's and none looked old enough to have a child past the age of 5 if they have college dgrees- chat in their little clique while awaiting each of their court hearings. They were talking about which case goes to Department of Juvenile Justice, gets appealed, etc, and laughing about this parent or that parent who comes over their asking for something like Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or MH treatment and rolling their eyes about parents like that. If it isn't an idea of theirs, you can almost forget it happening. But, there's another forum about courts and so forth and parents are really hammering this one and saying they have filed suits, or written letters, or submitted formal complaints. Given the way the psychiatric responded the other day, I'm wondering if the "higher ups" in the county were maybe alerted that they need to be overseeing some things a little more. They quit using that old GAL already- that's a good sign. Anyway, I just want out of this jurisdiction and am ready to form a plan about starting over. I think this will give difficult child a better chance than coming back to the same friends and house he'd damaged. It was depressing for both of us. So whether it's in 10 days, 6 weeks, or 3-6 months, I don't plan on having the same frame of mind about it. Star- the reason dss would not be checking my bro out any deeper is because he's a family member. It would still be a foster care placement though because it's not resulting from me being found unfit or having my parental rights terminated or me doing it willingly. They (dss) would be required to have review hearings every so often for one year, then after one year a court hearing is held and it is determined if parental rights should be changed from the parent to the custodian or if the child is to return to the parent. It's almost impossible for them to terminate my parental rights in a situation like this because this is not a cps case and I have not been found incompetent. That wasn't my worry. My worry was (and is) the damage and harm that could be done to difficult child during that time period. difficult child and I also discussed the continuing impact of his lies last year where he blamed me instead of owning up to all he'd done. In this situation, think of the impact of difficult child saying "I have not been staying awake roaming the house at night- my Mom is just paranoid". While I, on the other hand, have phone records indicating phone calls being made from this house all night long and the phone had been placed in my bedroom when I went to bed. And keys were in my bedroom but somehow cigs were missing out of the trunk of my car. What some call my paranoia, I call their denial. LOL!! And the same with my bro- do you think he'd ever admit what all he'd done? I'm waiting on my records from the military. If they have the slightest statement in there about my bro trying to molest me, it will prove that I didn't just make that up to prevent him getting difficult child because that was about 15 years before difficult child was born. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
I'm really worried
Top