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I'm really worried
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 361676" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Yes, mental health profs who know my hx agree that I have PTSD and how symptommatic this is has varied through different phases of my life, which is probably typical for someone who had therapy to address it- or I should say, process trauma and learn coping techniques, etc. </p><p></p><p>I think what they are questioning is whether or not I'm dellusional or so paranoid that I'm perceiving a situation to be a threat to my son but the threat really doesn't exist- like a soldier who comes back from war and thinks everyone walking toward him is getting ready to pull out a hand grenade. Or, is it a sitaution where the threat is real and I'm flipping out over it- like a cop who's seen a previous partner get killed be a crminal so the next time he sees somebody pull a gun on a cop, he's ready to blow them to smitherines. My position of course, is that I'm the second. To me, if I had been paranoid that my bro would do that I wouldn't have let him know difficult child to begin with. They did have an uncle/nephew relationship until my bro started acting all weird and sneaking about difficult child and it could have gotten difficult child into bigger trouble and that's when I stopped communication from my bro.</p><p></p><p>I've never been dellusional- even before any therapy at all. When this sort of incident involves family members, therapists are usually more concerned that the child will grow up and continue these family patterns, passing it further thru the generations. For instance, statistics would show that without therapy, a child would either grow up and become an abuser themselves or go into denial and marry someone who abuses their kids. So therapy includes leearning about healthy family relationships, appropriate boundaries (emotional, expectatuions, etc- not just sexual), learning to spot "red flags" in others. I honestly beleive that I spotted red flags appropriately and had reason to believe my son would be at risk. There was every indication that my bro was trying to undermine the parent/child relationship here and that's a big red flag that something wasn't right- even if it was no more that parent alienation in order to get custody.</p><p></p><p>Keeping those statistics in mind, remember that my bro came from the same family I did, tried to molest me as a child, had other traumas as a child just like I did, and has never received ANY therapy or MH treatment at all. So which one is more likely to pass on more dysfunction?</p><p></p><p>Anyway, my bro is in a different state. It's my uunderstanding that since our dss has little to no funding, they automatically have to place a kid with a fammily member if they can find a willing one and my bro has gone on record as wanting my son any time, on any tterms. If difficult child was turned over to dss, our dss contacts the dss in my bro's state. They would do a home visit and check for sleeping arrangements for difficult child, reasonable cleanliness, etc. Almost anyone could pass that. I assume they would check to make sure the person wasn't on the sex offenders list but as far as I know, that's all they do. My bro would not have to meet the requirements of someone trying to become a foster parent for the system. </p><p></p><p>In my bro's state, people actively living a homosexual lifestyle (two partners living together) are not allowed to adopt a child, however, they are allowed to have a child live with them as a foster placement. Their state dss has a pretty bad reputation for keeping up with kids in their system and giving them appropriate placements.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 361676, member: 3699"] Yes, mental health profs who know my hx agree that I have PTSD and how symptommatic this is has varied through different phases of my life, which is probably typical for someone who had therapy to address it- or I should say, process trauma and learn coping techniques, etc. I think what they are questioning is whether or not I'm dellusional or so paranoid that I'm perceiving a situation to be a threat to my son but the threat really doesn't exist- like a soldier who comes back from war and thinks everyone walking toward him is getting ready to pull out a hand grenade. Or, is it a sitaution where the threat is real and I'm flipping out over it- like a cop who's seen a previous partner get killed be a crminal so the next time he sees somebody pull a gun on a cop, he's ready to blow them to smitherines. My position of course, is that I'm the second. To me, if I had been paranoid that my bro would do that I wouldn't have let him know difficult child to begin with. They did have an uncle/nephew relationship until my bro started acting all weird and sneaking about difficult child and it could have gotten difficult child into bigger trouble and that's when I stopped communication from my bro. I've never been dellusional- even before any therapy at all. When this sort of incident involves family members, therapists are usually more concerned that the child will grow up and continue these family patterns, passing it further thru the generations. For instance, statistics would show that without therapy, a child would either grow up and become an abuser themselves or go into denial and marry someone who abuses their kids. So therapy includes leearning about healthy family relationships, appropriate boundaries (emotional, expectatuions, etc- not just sexual), learning to spot "red flags" in others. I honestly beleive that I spotted red flags appropriately and had reason to believe my son would be at risk. There was every indication that my bro was trying to undermine the parent/child relationship here and that's a big red flag that something wasn't right- even if it was no more that parent alienation in order to get custody. Keeping those statistics in mind, remember that my bro came from the same family I did, tried to molest me as a child, had other traumas as a child just like I did, and has never received ANY therapy or MH treatment at all. So which one is more likely to pass on more dysfunction? Anyway, my bro is in a different state. It's my uunderstanding that since our dss has little to no funding, they automatically have to place a kid with a fammily member if they can find a willing one and my bro has gone on record as wanting my son any time, on any tterms. If difficult child was turned over to dss, our dss contacts the dss in my bro's state. They would do a home visit and check for sleeping arrangements for difficult child, reasonable cleanliness, etc. Almost anyone could pass that. I assume they would check to make sure the person wasn't on the sex offenders list but as far as I know, that's all they do. My bro would not have to meet the requirements of someone trying to become a foster parent for the system. In my bro's state, people actively living a homosexual lifestyle (two partners living together) are not allowed to adopt a child, however, they are allowed to have a child live with them as a foster placement. Their state dss has a pretty bad reputation for keeping up with kids in their system and giving them appropriate placements. [/QUOTE]
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