I'm scared for my six year old

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by snees, Jul 11, 2012.

  1. snees

    snees New Member

    My six year old has been in special needs preschool and K. I never though he was classic autistic but very impulsive, the teachers always said he had a "sensory disorder". He is significantly speech delayed. He started Ritalin and I think he is doing better on it. He has started echolalia and is often confused and not in the game. Just not with it. He is staying back in K. He has a twin sister who is doing fine. I finally got him into a local institute for Autism testing tomorrow. I am scared. I am staying up nights worrying what his life will be like what the outcome will be and angry that I hadn't done more for him. I have always had him in early intervention but I found out from the other moms that there are lots of other things out there I could get for him. This summer, as last summer, he did not qualify for ESY services which I now found out I should have fought due to social delays. He has trouble making friends. He is very loving, not detached, never lines anything up, plays very creatively (especially with legos) and just started doing the odd talking (nonsense, things from tv etc.) and scared of what to expect. I just started behavioral therapy for him and he is doing well. He is still often confused. His older brother was like him in many ways, minus the extreme speech delay and agressive showing. His older brother is verbally inappropriate though, which my six year old can't do. I just am looking for some support. husband has his head in the sand for a change. My family is also not very supportive. I am ready to cry. It is a two hour evaluation for starters. Also wondering why I was told Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified (which per the internet is autism) is not the diagnosis I want.
    Lasted edited by : Jul 11, 2012
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I gotta tell you that I do understand the emotion of being scared. But I also have to say that being afraid of your child's diagnosis will be counterproductive to getting him the help he needs. We don't want our children pigen-holed, we don't our children labled, we don't want our children to be difficult children. But the reality is that they are. With a proper diagnosis, your son can begin to get the interventions he needs to build some successes in his life.

    Don't worry that "you didn't do X", "you shouldn't have done A" -- once the diagnosis comes through (and I did edit your post to remove the proper name of the institute your son is being tested at and it is a reputable and caring organization) you can move forward to help your son. Very often the wrong diagnosis can do more harm to our kids. We want them to be tested and get the correct diagnosis. Don't worry about his staying focused for the hours of testing or maintaining control, etc., they have done this with thousands of children and your son won't present something they haven't seen before.

    You are doing the right the thing by looking for more answers and questioning things you don't think are quite right. Mommy gut is a great tool! Keep your chin up, continue to fight for your son and don't think about the limitations on his future, focus on the possibilities that will open for him.

  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I agree with Sharon. Try to look at an accurate diagnosis as a road map that you can now use to help you guide your son. He's still the same sweet little boy you've always had after the diagnosis.Good luck today!
  4. Angela41

    Angela41 New Member

    Worry and guilt are natural "mommy" feelings when our kids are having a tough time. I found that talking with my son's doctors helps me focus on how to help him with his skills, and gives me more purpose and direction. Also, keep in mind, that there have been a lot of advances in these areas. It's amazing what kids can accomplish even when they start out with the deck stacked against them. Whatever the diagnosis, try not to look at it as "well, this is how it will be the rest of his life." My brother was initially diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) (we later came to believe it was mild to moderate Aspergers)- as an adult, he lives on his own, holds a job, has made his way through college, learned another language, and honestly, when you meet him, you can barely tell. My mother said that as a young child, he was nearly impossible to engage and didn't speak one word until he was over two. Interestingly, he had no services and was mainstreamed because that's how it was for kids in that generation. He did all of these things on his own. Imagine what he could have accomplished with such a caring mother as you and with all of the help that you will be obtaining for your son? People develop all of their lives- there is no closed window where a person can no longer grow or mature. Most of my brother's accomplishments flourished in adulthood when he needed to do more things on his own.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Don't be afraid. Even with a diagnosis (or without one) he is the same child with the same challenges. It doesn't make sense in my opinion to be afraid of a word because then he can have special services, which are extremely helpful in the long run. I agree with not worrying about the past. Just focus on now and fight for services at school.

    I would go bravely with your son for his evaluation and then listen to the recommendations. Diagnoses tend to change with age because the older the kids get the more clearly they can be seen. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is hardly the end of the world.

    Hugs :)
  6. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    My favorite quote from an adult autistic man: "your imagination is not big enough to predict what your child can become".
    A diagnosis is a tool, not a life sentence. Use it to help your son.