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Substance Abuse
I'm scared, what's going to happen?
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<blockquote data-quote="PatriotsGirl" data-source="post: 596569" data-attributes="member: 15796"><p>Hi and welcome from another parent of a meth addict. Meth is an awful, awful and powerful drug. It is not that they get physically addicted - it is the mental cravings for it. They begin to not even feel "normal" unless they use. And it is sheer poison that they are pumping into themselves. </p><p></p><p>My daughter got hooked on it from a boyfriend when she started high school. We started seeing her get skinnier and looking like koi all the time. Sores on her face, bruises on her body, etc. They would use meth and then have these fighting matches. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> I saw a video once and it freaked me out. I threatened the boyfriend and got arrested for terroristic threats. (The judge heard the story and said he didn't blame me - he reduced it to disorderly conduct and gave me a fine).</p><p></p><p>She got expelled from high school for attempting to sell drugs. She was on probation. We begged for help and got none. difficult child refused rehab. We had her committed - twice. When we found a meth pipe in her room (directly across the hall from my younger son), we gave her the ultimatum of rehab or leave the home. She left and she was 17 at the time. (This is a summary but really, we tried everything and went through years of sheer torture). </p><p></p><p>She has couch surfed, been homeless, slept on bug infested porches, etc. She has lived a life of sheer hades for almost three years now. I will never understand how they choose that over rehab, but that is the power of addiction. </p><p></p><p>She finally relented and went to rehab late last year. We had hope for the first time! She had her color back, gained a TON of weight and was so pleasant again. We were so excited. And then right before she would have had 30 days, she left and relapsed. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> </p><p></p><p>She is now five and a half months pregnant with my grandson. She was arrested for battery against her baby's father - that is when I jumped on it and enlisted the court's help to force her to get help. She went to pre-trial services, they popped her with a drug test and she failed. They then put her back in jail and Tuesday was 5 weeks. It hoovers that it has to be this way. But she now has over 35 days clean! Her attitude is changing and I am hopeful this will finally be a turning point for her!! She is starting to think about her son and her future. The doctor at the jail told her she gained too much weight this past month but we all know that is from not using. I have a meeting tomorrow with the court to go over treatment options for her. I am praying we can continue in the right direction! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p></p><p>What I have learned over the years and want to pass on to you is this - YOU didn't DO this. Drug addicts come from ALL areas of life. Doctors, lawyers, perfect parents - they have all been parents of addicts. We didn't do a thing to bring this on. You didn't CAUSE this, you CANNOT cure this and you CANNOT control this. If only we had that magic wand...we would all be fighting over it! </p><p></p><p>What you need to do is support <em>positive</em> steps she makes and STOP enabling the bad. Do NOT <em>help</em> her be a drug addict. We do in many ways we do not even realize. Do NOT prevent her from hitting bottom - it will just take longer for her to get there and sometimes they <em>have</em> to hit bottom. That one was a hard one to wrap my brain around. It is engrained in us to comfort, smoothe and protect our children. Detaching is so against everything we feel. But it is what must be done. </p><p></p><p>Having an intervention is a great idea!!!</p><p></p><p>So many, many HUGS from me. I wish I could write more, but I have to get back to work. Your post tugged at me because I was exactly where you are. I remember that fear, the terror, the sadness... I know you cannot even possibly imagine doing so, but <em>try</em> to do something for <em>you</em>... you have to be well to fight this with her when she is ready to fight for herself...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PatriotsGirl, post: 596569, member: 15796"] Hi and welcome from another parent of a meth addict. Meth is an awful, awful and powerful drug. It is not that they get physically addicted - it is the mental cravings for it. They begin to not even feel "normal" unless they use. And it is sheer poison that they are pumping into themselves. My daughter got hooked on it from a boyfriend when she started high school. We started seeing her get skinnier and looking like koi all the time. Sores on her face, bruises on her body, etc. They would use meth and then have these fighting matches. :( I saw a video once and it freaked me out. I threatened the boyfriend and got arrested for terroristic threats. (The judge heard the story and said he didn't blame me - he reduced it to disorderly conduct and gave me a fine). She got expelled from high school for attempting to sell drugs. She was on probation. We begged for help and got none. difficult child refused rehab. We had her committed - twice. When we found a meth pipe in her room (directly across the hall from my younger son), we gave her the ultimatum of rehab or leave the home. She left and she was 17 at the time. (This is a summary but really, we tried everything and went through years of sheer torture). She has couch surfed, been homeless, slept on bug infested porches, etc. She has lived a life of sheer hades for almost three years now. I will never understand how they choose that over rehab, but that is the power of addiction. She finally relented and went to rehab late last year. We had hope for the first time! She had her color back, gained a TON of weight and was so pleasant again. We were so excited. And then right before she would have had 30 days, she left and relapsed. :( She is now five and a half months pregnant with my grandson. She was arrested for battery against her baby's father - that is when I jumped on it and enlisted the court's help to force her to get help. She went to pre-trial services, they popped her with a drug test and she failed. They then put her back in jail and Tuesday was 5 weeks. It hoovers that it has to be this way. But she now has over 35 days clean! Her attitude is changing and I am hopeful this will finally be a turning point for her!! She is starting to think about her son and her future. The doctor at the jail told her she gained too much weight this past month but we all know that is from not using. I have a meeting tomorrow with the court to go over treatment options for her. I am praying we can continue in the right direction! :) What I have learned over the years and want to pass on to you is this - YOU didn't DO this. Drug addicts come from ALL areas of life. Doctors, lawyers, perfect parents - they have all been parents of addicts. We didn't do a thing to bring this on. You didn't CAUSE this, you CANNOT cure this and you CANNOT control this. If only we had that magic wand...we would all be fighting over it! What you need to do is support [I]positive[/I] steps she makes and STOP enabling the bad. Do NOT [I]help[/I] her be a drug addict. We do in many ways we do not even realize. Do NOT prevent her from hitting bottom - it will just take longer for her to get there and sometimes they [I]have[/I] to hit bottom. That one was a hard one to wrap my brain around. It is engrained in us to comfort, smoothe and protect our children. Detaching is so against everything we feel. But it is what must be done. Having an intervention is a great idea!!! So many, many HUGS from me. I wish I could write more, but I have to get back to work. Your post tugged at me because I was exactly where you are. I remember that fear, the terror, the sadness... I know you cannot even possibly imagine doing so, but [I]try[/I] to do something for [I]you[/I]... you have to be well to fight this with her when she is ready to fight for herself... [/QUOTE]
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