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I'm so disappointed in my 20 year & cannot even speak to him...help!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Payla" data-source="post: 559849" data-attributes="member: 15160"><p>Hi DT,</p><p>Your post resonated with me. I have been going through these types of antics, ups and downs, promising times, bad times, with my 33 year old son since he was 18. I always believed things would change; he would mature, take responsibility, get a grip on his life. But it hasn't happened. Sadly, he has gone downhill in past several years and is just about homeless now. He has ADHD and is extremely impulsive and imature. He has been addicted to pain killers, gotten off them twice, and maybe is doing drugs again, I don't know. The crisis now is that I am detaching and it is extremely hard for him and me. Awful. I love him dearly, but I do know with all my heart this is the right thing to do for him and me. I have been in therapy and to a 12 step program to help me with detaching. This sight is very supportive also. Let me be the ghost from the future and give you some advise; every person and situation is different, and we have no way of knowing how things will turn out, but one thing is for sure: My enabling DID NOT HELP HIM. It was a huge force in keeping him stuck. Now we are going through such pain watching him flail, and just praying that he gets to the point where he seeks some help and uses some of his own capabiities and inner resources to pull himself together. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. I love him and this is his life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Payla, post: 559849, member: 15160"] Hi DT, Your post resonated with me. I have been going through these types of antics, ups and downs, promising times, bad times, with my 33 year old son since he was 18. I always believed things would change; he would mature, take responsibility, get a grip on his life. But it hasn't happened. Sadly, he has gone downhill in past several years and is just about homeless now. He has ADHD and is extremely impulsive and imature. He has been addicted to pain killers, gotten off them twice, and maybe is doing drugs again, I don't know. The crisis now is that I am detaching and it is extremely hard for him and me. Awful. I love him dearly, but I do know with all my heart this is the right thing to do for him and me. I have been in therapy and to a 12 step program to help me with detaching. This sight is very supportive also. Let me be the ghost from the future and give you some advise; every person and situation is different, and we have no way of knowing how things will turn out, but one thing is for sure: My enabling DID NOT HELP HIM. It was a huge force in keeping him stuck. Now we are going through such pain watching him flail, and just praying that he gets to the point where he seeks some help and uses some of his own capabiities and inner resources to pull himself together. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. I love him and this is his life. [/QUOTE]
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I'm so disappointed in my 20 year & cannot even speak to him...help!!!!
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