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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 570954" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. My daughter and her three year old son have been right in the middle of exactly the same situation since last spring. Right after their eighth anniversary, right out of the blue, he told her that he didn't want to be married any more and wanted a divorce and refused to go to any kind of counseling! Said it wouldn't do any good. There was no sign of this at all and she thought everything was fine so she was just stunned! </p><p></p><p>I won't say that they've found the perfect solution because they seem to be stalled halfway through the divorce. But from watching what my daughter is going through, my best advise to you is <u>DO NOT TRUST HIM</u>, especially where money is concerned! If he hid all this from you for that long, who knows what else he might not be telling you! Open your own bank account that he has no access to. Get your own attorney (that HE will end up paying for!) and get something down on paper about temporary support ASAP. Until you have an order signed by a judge, he can legally get away with paying you <em>nothing</em> and if things get tough, that could be exactly what he does. My sister in law decided to quit the job he had before he found another one and went for three months without paying the child support that he had promised to pay but since they had nothing legal in writing, there is nothing she can do to get that money now. He is not your concern now and you should be taking every possible step to protect yourself and your children. If you do decide to go back to work, there is usually subsidized day care available that will be a big help. DO NOT worry about hurting his feelings and DO NOT trust him on <u>anything</u> concerning money. Find a good lawyer who will look out for your best interests and file the properwork to get you LEGALLY seperated with court ordered support that can be enforced. </p><p></p><p>I know how hurt you must be and what a shock this had to have been. But trust me on this one ... sooner or later you will stop feeling hurt and start getting MAD, and then you will know that you've turned that corner! Best of luck and many hugs to you, dear.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 570954, member: 1883"] I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. My daughter and her three year old son have been right in the middle of exactly the same situation since last spring. Right after their eighth anniversary, right out of the blue, he told her that he didn't want to be married any more and wanted a divorce and refused to go to any kind of counseling! Said it wouldn't do any good. There was no sign of this at all and she thought everything was fine so she was just stunned! I won't say that they've found the perfect solution because they seem to be stalled halfway through the divorce. But from watching what my daughter is going through, my best advise to you is [U]DO NOT TRUST HIM[/U], especially where money is concerned! If he hid all this from you for that long, who knows what else he might not be telling you! Open your own bank account that he has no access to. Get your own attorney (that HE will end up paying for!) and get something down on paper about temporary support ASAP. Until you have an order signed by a judge, he can legally get away with paying you [I]nothing[/I] and if things get tough, that could be exactly what he does. My sister in law decided to quit the job he had before he found another one and went for three months without paying the child support that he had promised to pay but since they had nothing legal in writing, there is nothing she can do to get that money now. He is not your concern now and you should be taking every possible step to protect yourself and your children. If you do decide to go back to work, there is usually subsidized day care available that will be a big help. DO NOT worry about hurting his feelings and DO NOT trust him on [U]anything[/U] concerning money. Find a good lawyer who will look out for your best interests and file the properwork to get you LEGALLY seperated with court ordered support that can be enforced. I know how hurt you must be and what a shock this had to have been. But trust me on this one ... sooner or later you will stop feeling hurt and start getting MAD, and then you will know that you've turned that corner! Best of luck and many hugs to you, dear. [/QUOTE]
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