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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 570955" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Good morning Olligator. I hope you are feeling better today. I am no legal authority, however, as a Stay at home Mom with 2 small children, it seems that the wise choice would be not to make any job choice until you consult with an attorney. The fact that your husband is pushing for you to get a job doesn't feel right. If he has taken care of all the finances, you may be completely in the dark as to what you not only have in terms of assets, but what exactly you are entitled to and he may use your lack of knowledge for his own gain. With an attorney, they can find out all of that info and it all goes on the table and then your attorney negotiates for you,<u> knowing all the facts.</u> If you get a job now, that <u>will </u>be a factor in the determination of spousal support. You can also get what I believe is called temporary spousal support which will give you the opportunity, if you want it, to get used to all of this, prepare your kids, etc. and get a job, say a year or two down the line when everything settles down. But, you will get to choose that if you decide that's what you want. Your children are very young, I believe you are entitled to child support and spousal support until they are 18 or even 21. There's schooling, college, insurance, medical,........ an attorney can look down the road into the future to figure out what the kids needs will be and negotiate for you and the kids much much better then you can.</p><p></p><p>This is not sounding healthy to me, he blindsides you with this severe change in your life and then pushes you into getting a job..................please, ask around and find a good attorney to give you advice. I have a feeling that he has done all his homework, he's had time to figure it all out, you haven't. You need time to absorb all of this, you're in shock. You not retaining an attorney, you getting a job and you being in the dark are all advantages to him and my guess is he is fully aware of that. He will now have to support two households, the law in most cases will protect you and the children and the amount of money he will have to offer you is likely substantially more then he would like. He will also have to pay for an attorney as well, since you don't have a job. It's difficult to believe that a man who just decides to leave a marriage would be asking you to get a job immediately if he were really looking out for the well being of you and the children. It all sounds to me as if he has a plan and that plan depends on you being in the dark and playing it out the way he designs it. Just because you don't have a job does not mean you have no power, you do. Do not allow him to direct you through this, take your power, get clear legal advice as to what your options are before you do anything. Geez, I am so sorry. You need someone to help you through this legal stuff. If you have any friends who've been through a divorce, contact them and ask about attorneys, it's always good to get a referral from someone you trust. Hang in there Olligator, you just need to get the facts, find a good attorney and take care of yourself and the children................all the pieces will fall into place as you walk through it. Follow your gut on this, don't let him push you into anything. This is the start of the beginning of the rest of your life..............I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but it is............stay strong...........big hugs for you..........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 570955, member: 13542"] Good morning Olligator. I hope you are feeling better today. I am no legal authority, however, as a Stay at home Mom with 2 small children, it seems that the wise choice would be not to make any job choice until you consult with an attorney. The fact that your husband is pushing for you to get a job doesn't feel right. If he has taken care of all the finances, you may be completely in the dark as to what you not only have in terms of assets, but what exactly you are entitled to and he may use your lack of knowledge for his own gain. With an attorney, they can find out all of that info and it all goes on the table and then your attorney negotiates for you,[U] knowing all the facts.[/U] If you get a job now, that [U]will [/U]be a factor in the determination of spousal support. You can also get what I believe is called temporary spousal support which will give you the opportunity, if you want it, to get used to all of this, prepare your kids, etc. and get a job, say a year or two down the line when everything settles down. But, you will get to choose that if you decide that's what you want. Your children are very young, I believe you are entitled to child support and spousal support until they are 18 or even 21. There's schooling, college, insurance, medical,........ an attorney can look down the road into the future to figure out what the kids needs will be and negotiate for you and the kids much much better then you can. This is not sounding healthy to me, he blindsides you with this severe change in your life and then pushes you into getting a job..................please, ask around and find a good attorney to give you advice. I have a feeling that he has done all his homework, he's had time to figure it all out, you haven't. You need time to absorb all of this, you're in shock. You not retaining an attorney, you getting a job and you being in the dark are all advantages to him and my guess is he is fully aware of that. He will now have to support two households, the law in most cases will protect you and the children and the amount of money he will have to offer you is likely substantially more then he would like. He will also have to pay for an attorney as well, since you don't have a job. It's difficult to believe that a man who just decides to leave a marriage would be asking you to get a job immediately if he were really looking out for the well being of you and the children. It all sounds to me as if he has a plan and that plan depends on you being in the dark and playing it out the way he designs it. Just because you don't have a job does not mean you have no power, you do. Do not allow him to direct you through this, take your power, get clear legal advice as to what your options are before you do anything. Geez, I am so sorry. You need someone to help you through this legal stuff. If you have any friends who've been through a divorce, contact them and ask about attorneys, it's always good to get a referral from someone you trust. Hang in there Olligator, you just need to get the facts, find a good attorney and take care of yourself and the children................all the pieces will fall into place as you walk through it. Follow your gut on this, don't let him push you into anything. This is the start of the beginning of the rest of your life..............I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but it is............stay strong...........big hugs for you.......... [/QUOTE]
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