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I'm so stressed I feel sick.
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 549537" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Personally IC, I am probably going to hurt your feelings here but you are not a parent of an adult child so you have not walked a mile in our shoes. Most of on here have been through the ringer with this adult kids who refuse to grow up and mild depression as an excuse for domestic violence towards family just isnt an excuse that is gonna fly. It especially wont fly in a courtroom. You dont even want to know what happens to prisoners who are in prison for abusing their mothers. Its not a pretty outcome. </p><p></p><p>As far as the original poster, you cannot blame yourself for any of this. You are not at fault and you are not doing this to him. Was it your fault when you sat on the side lines and bit your lip while he took those first steps and he had to learn to walk? Oh how you wanted to rush to his side so he never plopped down on his butt but you knew if you did that he would never learn to balance on his own and you would be carrying a 5 year old into kindergarten. No, parents sit there and watch our kids take those steps and fall down over and over again until they get the hang of it and take off on sturdy legs and then soon they are running! Its the same thing now. We have to push them out of the nest and give them the wings to fly. Of course they are going to fall and make mistakes. How else are they going to learn? </p><p></p><p>Did you go straight from your parents home to buying a perfect home with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids and a dog? Or did you have to get struggle for a while and live in a dump and eat ramen noodles and pbj while you worked your way up? Most of us dont grow up with a nest egg that allows us to just walk out the door and into luxury. Be nice but...lol. Most of our difficult child's miss the idea that they have to work to get to where we are now. I know my son did. For some reason he completely blocked out his early years when we lived in dumps. Not that we live in luxury now. We just arent quite as bad off as we were. </p><p></p><p>I will be honest here. The best thing I ever did for my son was put him out. He has thrived. He had his second baby 10 months ago and he hasnt asked us for one thing for this child. Not one pack of diapers, not one can of formula, nothing. Thats not to say I havent bought things for the baby because I do but its what I want to do, not what he asks for. I buy toys or clothes that I want to buy. Nothing he expects.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 549537, member: 1514"] Personally IC, I am probably going to hurt your feelings here but you are not a parent of an adult child so you have not walked a mile in our shoes. Most of on here have been through the ringer with this adult kids who refuse to grow up and mild depression as an excuse for domestic violence towards family just isnt an excuse that is gonna fly. It especially wont fly in a courtroom. You dont even want to know what happens to prisoners who are in prison for abusing their mothers. Its not a pretty outcome. As far as the original poster, you cannot blame yourself for any of this. You are not at fault and you are not doing this to him. Was it your fault when you sat on the side lines and bit your lip while he took those first steps and he had to learn to walk? Oh how you wanted to rush to his side so he never plopped down on his butt but you knew if you did that he would never learn to balance on his own and you would be carrying a 5 year old into kindergarten. No, parents sit there and watch our kids take those steps and fall down over and over again until they get the hang of it and take off on sturdy legs and then soon they are running! Its the same thing now. We have to push them out of the nest and give them the wings to fly. Of course they are going to fall and make mistakes. How else are they going to learn? Did you go straight from your parents home to buying a perfect home with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids and a dog? Or did you have to get struggle for a while and live in a dump and eat ramen noodles and pbj while you worked your way up? Most of us dont grow up with a nest egg that allows us to just walk out the door and into luxury. Be nice but...lol. Most of our difficult child's miss the idea that they have to work to get to where we are now. I know my son did. For some reason he completely blocked out his early years when we lived in dumps. Not that we live in luxury now. We just arent quite as bad off as we were. I will be honest here. The best thing I ever did for my son was put him out. He has thrived. He had his second baby 10 months ago and he hasnt asked us for one thing for this child. Not one pack of diapers, not one can of formula, nothing. Thats not to say I havent bought things for the baby because I do but its what I want to do, not what he asks for. I buy toys or clothes that I want to buy. Nothing he expects. [/QUOTE]
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