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I'm so stupid. It's supposed to be when you know better, you do better.
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<blockquote data-quote="detachingmother" data-source="post: 681999" data-attributes="member: 20063"><p>Thank you so much for that update. It is helping me gather my thoughts. </p><p></p><p>I do know he wants to establish some type of custody. We do have a state which most judges want to see that first...50/50, regardless of who did what and when.</p><p></p><p>Now that he's in jail though, it's all on hold. Before he went he had seen an attorney even though they were together to first establish paternity, then a custody arrangement, as they were on and off again. After having done the math on when she conceived and when her due date is, it probably is Son's, so here we go...I am gearing up because I know it's going to be an issue.</p><p></p><p>Yes, this girlfriend is as crazy as it comes. No drugs or alcohol at all, but she beats on him. She is almost always the aggressor. She Went to jail for punching him square in the face in front of a security guard in the mall....that was right when she conceived--spent 5 days that time. She went to jail pregnant and didn't know she was at the time. Then it was nothing but abuse until the culmination of him ending up back in jail. That was just ONE incident. She's been to jail three times for "abusing" him or someone else. Once it was just a girl at the grocery store who "looked" at her wrong. At least she DOES have a public paper trail of her behavior. Not just physical, but constant emotional abuse. Calls him to please pick her up three times a day, and he will go over there crying and upset to get her, and she will stand at the window flipping him off, the dad calls him POS, the mother is a fruit too. She throws tantrums when she wants him to buy her stuff, and he's so whipped, he does it. Non stop, ok, I digress, you probably get the point. Son's a jerk in many ways, and I do see some good in him too, when he's not wrapped up in a woman. This is the third crazytown he's been with....first one for three years, left him for a woman...messed him up too.</p><p></p><p>I am pretty sure I could establish grand parent rights and get some sort of arrangement, as we also have that in our state. At least I know we did in the past, unless that has changed. I just have spent so much on this Son of mine, to the point of financial depletion, I just don't know if I want to keep this up. I am getting to the point, I want to enjoy my life, not spend the rest of it fighting for my grand baby. Maybe I am just selfish. And, I am scared I guess of spending the next 18 years fighting with this....</p><p></p><p>I also think there's a good chance this might be a case of, "you give her enough rope, and she will ...." </p><p></p><p>I am probably getting way ahead of myself though, but I can assume that there will be problems based on both their past bad behavior. She could change, but I doubt it, so could he, but I am just not sure yet. I think with girlfriend living with her parents that she will behave...her mom is one who would call CPS on her own daughter. Oddly, I believe that.</p><p></p><p>Thanks again for the update.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="detachingmother, post: 681999, member: 20063"] Thank you so much for that update. It is helping me gather my thoughts. I do know he wants to establish some type of custody. We do have a state which most judges want to see that first...50/50, regardless of who did what and when. Now that he's in jail though, it's all on hold. Before he went he had seen an attorney even though they were together to first establish paternity, then a custody arrangement, as they were on and off again. After having done the math on when she conceived and when her due date is, it probably is Son's, so here we go...I am gearing up because I know it's going to be an issue. Yes, this girlfriend is as crazy as it comes. No drugs or alcohol at all, but she beats on him. She is almost always the aggressor. She Went to jail for punching him square in the face in front of a security guard in the mall....that was right when she conceived--spent 5 days that time. She went to jail pregnant and didn't know she was at the time. Then it was nothing but abuse until the culmination of him ending up back in jail. That was just ONE incident. She's been to jail three times for "abusing" him or someone else. Once it was just a girl at the grocery store who "looked" at her wrong. At least she DOES have a public paper trail of her behavior. Not just physical, but constant emotional abuse. Calls him to please pick her up three times a day, and he will go over there crying and upset to get her, and she will stand at the window flipping him off, the dad calls him POS, the mother is a fruit too. She throws tantrums when she wants him to buy her stuff, and he's so whipped, he does it. Non stop, ok, I digress, you probably get the point. Son's a jerk in many ways, and I do see some good in him too, when he's not wrapped up in a woman. This is the third crazytown he's been with....first one for three years, left him for a woman...messed him up too. I am pretty sure I could establish grand parent rights and get some sort of arrangement, as we also have that in our state. At least I know we did in the past, unless that has changed. I just have spent so much on this Son of mine, to the point of financial depletion, I just don't know if I want to keep this up. I am getting to the point, I want to enjoy my life, not spend the rest of it fighting for my grand baby. Maybe I am just selfish. And, I am scared I guess of spending the next 18 years fighting with this.... I also think there's a good chance this might be a case of, "you give her enough rope, and she will ...." I am probably getting way ahead of myself though, but I can assume that there will be problems based on both their past bad behavior. She could change, but I doubt it, so could he, but I am just not sure yet. I think with girlfriend living with her parents that she will behave...her mom is one who would call CPS on her own daughter. Oddly, I believe that. Thanks again for the update. [/QUOTE]
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