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I'm still struggling- need votes!
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 491515" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I love you, Ladies! slsh- you somehow always know how to click with me. DJ and DF and Susie - you're right in there, too!</p><p></p><p>If I go with difficult child not coming home, how on earth do I ever tell him/ It would be easy if PO made it sound like it was them but they don't- they give me the spill about them having 'ultimate' authority then go tell difficult child they made this choice because of me- just like GAL did when difficult child got committed to Department of Juvenile Justice in the first place. (Have I mentioned how csu has the brains that are in conflict with everyone else in the world? Even people in the detention and juvie prison tell the kids it's their own actions that got them there.)</p><p></p><p>Susie, difficult child is telling me he wants to come straight home. He also told PO and the reentry lady that. Now, what he tells PO's super next week on the videoconference could change but I doubt it. I told him to think about it and try to figure out what he really thought would give him the best chance- I'm still his mom and wouldn't 'desert' him. I told my attny that I told difficult child that and that seemed to distance her- why I don't know- I thought it was preferable over trying to put words in difficult child's mouth especially given his age and circumstances.</p><p></p><p>Also, difficult child and I both cringe at the typical MH treatment at this point- it is fear of bad experiences. That sounds like an excuse, I'm sure, but when it has been inadequate and ended up in volatile situations that resulted in difficult child spending the majority of his teen years incarcerated, it is a real fear. For both of us. It's so easy to give up. It's so frustrating to know they could allow, if not provide, what we need- but they won't. The last time I talked to difficult child, he said 'no way' to family therapy. I really believe it's because he feels that cringe that I do. But then, he told rentry lady and me that he'd try his hardest no matter what the orders. And of course, in private, he told me he's really scared- he'd rather die than go back- what if he can't make it- and that he'd rather just stay in there because it's all he knows and easier to put up with, Honestly, I'd probably have all those thoughts too if I was in his position.</p><p></p><p>The kid must have something I don't though- if I spent all that time incarcerated as a youth then they told me I'd go to a group home to age out, I'd commit suicide, honestly- there would be no way it would happen no matter what carrot they dangled in front of me. Goodness- as I told PO's super- I'd give my right arm if it turned difficult child around and assured he'd have a happy, normal, productive life from here on out.</p><p></p><p>And just what you point out, Susie- that is my predicament.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 491515, member: 3699"] I love you, Ladies! slsh- you somehow always know how to click with me. DJ and DF and Susie - you're right in there, too! If I go with difficult child not coming home, how on earth do I ever tell him/ It would be easy if PO made it sound like it was them but they don't- they give me the spill about them having 'ultimate' authority then go tell difficult child they made this choice because of me- just like GAL did when difficult child got committed to Department of Juvenile Justice in the first place. (Have I mentioned how csu has the brains that are in conflict with everyone else in the world? Even people in the detention and juvie prison tell the kids it's their own actions that got them there.) Susie, difficult child is telling me he wants to come straight home. He also told PO and the reentry lady that. Now, what he tells PO's super next week on the videoconference could change but I doubt it. I told him to think about it and try to figure out what he really thought would give him the best chance- I'm still his mom and wouldn't 'desert' him. I told my attny that I told difficult child that and that seemed to distance her- why I don't know- I thought it was preferable over trying to put words in difficult child's mouth especially given his age and circumstances. Also, difficult child and I both cringe at the typical MH treatment at this point- it is fear of bad experiences. That sounds like an excuse, I'm sure, but when it has been inadequate and ended up in volatile situations that resulted in difficult child spending the majority of his teen years incarcerated, it is a real fear. For both of us. It's so easy to give up. It's so frustrating to know they could allow, if not provide, what we need- but they won't. The last time I talked to difficult child, he said 'no way' to family therapy. I really believe it's because he feels that cringe that I do. But then, he told rentry lady and me that he'd try his hardest no matter what the orders. And of course, in private, he told me he's really scared- he'd rather die than go back- what if he can't make it- and that he'd rather just stay in there because it's all he knows and easier to put up with, Honestly, I'd probably have all those thoughts too if I was in his position. The kid must have something I don't though- if I spent all that time incarcerated as a youth then they told me I'd go to a group home to age out, I'd commit suicide, honestly- there would be no way it would happen no matter what carrot they dangled in front of me. Goodness- as I told PO's super- I'd give my right arm if it turned difficult child around and assured he'd have a happy, normal, productive life from here on out. And just what you point out, Susie- that is my predicament. [/QUOTE]
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