Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I'm still struggling- need votes!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 491655" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>I must have looked and thought about this post for over an hour and the only thing I came up with is not to vote. Not much help. Danny was in the system from 14 to 17 - juvy, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), Juvy, Boot Camp. Because of situations he found himself in and bad moves when he was younger, when he is arrested, he goes straight to the gang unit in jail. He is not a gangbanger by any stretch of the imagination-he knows people in gangs but thats about the extent of it (though he did claim bragging rights when younger that he did belong-still don't know if that was some type of "acceptance" thing or trying to save himself from grief in jail or some male macho crapola, who knows</p><p></p><p>For me, home was always the option without reservation. But having said that, I have never had to deal with any personal violence with him. He knew I was not afraid of him - had he raised a hand I would have taken him out or died trying-told him that many times, sometimes eyeball to eyeball - he never tempted fate</p><p></p><p>If there was one thing I learned about the "system" - its you cannot work WITH it, only AROUND it. They never do what they said they would, or do what they were supposed to do. Never Ever. </p><p></p><p>As an armchair observer, I would think the group home would be the way to go and see how it plays out - if he comes home, or goes there, and does the same ole and get in trouble, its all on him. Took Danny a few goes in the system before he figured out free is a much better place to be. I think it would be overload with all of the negativity with the system and angst to come back home right away - a group home is not a life sentance on living there. Chances are on release to them, he will have a brand new PO anyway -I lost track of the ones Danny had - maybe two good ones in all that time.</p><p></p><p>If the track record for our most of our boys on here is any indication, they will be still stumbling around,bumbling around and screwing up till around their early to mid 20's. It would be wonderful if they all could, upon release, "get it" but that is probably not going to happen. They will get heady with the freedom each time till they emotionally catch up on their real age. I had to give up the education song and dance with Danny till he realized he needed a GED and went and got one on his own. Had to wait till he figured out the "job" thing and what you can and cannot do if you want to keep one. Had to wait till his life was uncomfortable enough to go back on medication. I think the hardest thing for me was to step back and know I had control over absolutely nothing much and gave myself some time to figure out how to work around the system</p><p></p><p>Marcie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 491655, member: 47"] I must have looked and thought about this post for over an hour and the only thing I came up with is not to vote. Not much help. Danny was in the system from 14 to 17 - juvy, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), Juvy, Boot Camp. Because of situations he found himself in and bad moves when he was younger, when he is arrested, he goes straight to the gang unit in jail. He is not a gangbanger by any stretch of the imagination-he knows people in gangs but thats about the extent of it (though he did claim bragging rights when younger that he did belong-still don't know if that was some type of "acceptance" thing or trying to save himself from grief in jail or some male macho crapola, who knows For me, home was always the option without reservation. But having said that, I have never had to deal with any personal violence with him. He knew I was not afraid of him - had he raised a hand I would have taken him out or died trying-told him that many times, sometimes eyeball to eyeball - he never tempted fate If there was one thing I learned about the "system" - its you cannot work WITH it, only AROUND it. They never do what they said they would, or do what they were supposed to do. Never Ever. As an armchair observer, I would think the group home would be the way to go and see how it plays out - if he comes home, or goes there, and does the same ole and get in trouble, its all on him. Took Danny a few goes in the system before he figured out free is a much better place to be. I think it would be overload with all of the negativity with the system and angst to come back home right away - a group home is not a life sentance on living there. Chances are on release to them, he will have a brand new PO anyway -I lost track of the ones Danny had - maybe two good ones in all that time. If the track record for our most of our boys on here is any indication, they will be still stumbling around,bumbling around and screwing up till around their early to mid 20's. It would be wonderful if they all could, upon release, "get it" but that is probably not going to happen. They will get heady with the freedom each time till they emotionally catch up on their real age. I had to give up the education song and dance with Danny till he realized he needed a GED and went and got one on his own. Had to wait till he figured out the "job" thing and what you can and cannot do if you want to keep one. Had to wait till his life was uncomfortable enough to go back on medication. I think the hardest thing for me was to step back and know I had control over absolutely nothing much and gave myself some time to figure out how to work around the system Marcie [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I'm still struggling- need votes!
Top