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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 448604" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We have had this with easy child 2/difficult child 2. She would grab me at the most awkward moments sometimes, demanding a hug. And if I said, "I can't, back off, I'm chopping onions and I might lose a finger," she would get upset with me and go sulk.</p><p></p><p>I do think (so does she) that easy child 2/difficult child 2 is Aspie. the physical contact thing - inappropriate. So it still fits with poor social skills.</p><p></p><p>In your case, the perseveration on the physical contact thing is interesting (and again, same as what we went through). We could not stop her doing this. We kept working on it though. We found when she was in medication-teens, she did finally begin asking, "Is it okay to give you a hug now?"</p><p></p><p>I have seen her with her friends (now all adults) and it's interesting - one girlfriend in particular, Italian background, will cuddle with easy child 2/difficult child 2. They both seem equally tactile. I have seen the girls curled up together on the couch, cuddling and talking, while their husbands are chatting nearby. The guys seem to accept this about their women, that they need this physical contact sometimes. SIL2 is also a cuddly guy, thank goodness, and if it causes problems for them that easy child 2/difficult child 2 is a cuddly person, I haven't seen any signs. </p><p></p><p>Maybe what you need to say to easy child/difficult child is, "Don't touch right now." Not "the game is over" because it is connecting the clinginess with the game. There needs perhaps to be a broader, "hands off!" message, followed by, as soon as possible, a hug when you (or whoever else) CAN comply. With easy child 2/difficult child 2, I would finish chopping the onions and then call out, "Can I have a hug now? The knife work is done with!"</p><p></p><p>Mind you, the neighbours might have found the sound of this disconcerting...</p><p></p><p>Life is never dull when you have a house full of Aspies!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 448604, member: 1991"] We have had this with easy child 2/difficult child 2. She would grab me at the most awkward moments sometimes, demanding a hug. And if I said, "I can't, back off, I'm chopping onions and I might lose a finger," she would get upset with me and go sulk. I do think (so does she) that easy child 2/difficult child 2 is Aspie. the physical contact thing - inappropriate. So it still fits with poor social skills. In your case, the perseveration on the physical contact thing is interesting (and again, same as what we went through). We could not stop her doing this. We kept working on it though. We found when she was in medication-teens, she did finally begin asking, "Is it okay to give you a hug now?" I have seen her with her friends (now all adults) and it's interesting - one girlfriend in particular, Italian background, will cuddle with easy child 2/difficult child 2. They both seem equally tactile. I have seen the girls curled up together on the couch, cuddling and talking, while their husbands are chatting nearby. The guys seem to accept this about their women, that they need this physical contact sometimes. SIL2 is also a cuddly guy, thank goodness, and if it causes problems for them that easy child 2/difficult child 2 is a cuddly person, I haven't seen any signs. Maybe what you need to say to easy child/difficult child is, "Don't touch right now." Not "the game is over" because it is connecting the clinginess with the game. There needs perhaps to be a broader, "hands off!" message, followed by, as soon as possible, a hug when you (or whoever else) CAN comply. With easy child 2/difficult child 2, I would finish chopping the onions and then call out, "Can I have a hug now? The knife work is done with!" Mind you, the neighbours might have found the sound of this disconcerting... Life is never dull when you have a house full of Aspies! Marg [/QUOTE]
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