Well, you now know hte warning signs. She also has the feeding tube so she will have the strength to go through some of this without damaging her body. They also will most likely do this as a last resort. There is something to be said for pushing her into becoming less dependent on you, though it isn't going to happen easily or with-o a HUGE fight. This is a bridge that you are not ready to cross yet, and that you need to not worry about until it needs to be crossed. She is making progress now, that is awesome and important!! They will have to take thing sslower with her than with others, and you may need to psuh htem on this a bit. If she can trust them and fight through it to cooperate with them, if they can see the anxiety and work on that, then you may never need to do the separation.
Whatever they do, it cannot be worse than what was going on at home. This is a pretty extreme problem and the long term effects are extreme. This is also supposed to be an excellent program that has helped many many kids. Do they have a psychiatrist working with her to assess her other mental illness issues? with-o that they won't get far. If a psychiatrist hasn't come in with experience in biopolar and anxiety and toher issues, then start asking for one NOW. That person needs to get to know her also and will need time to see her reactions to medications (which are pretty atypical as you know but few docs will believe if they don't see it). Get the psychiatrist to work on medications while they work on other stuff and maybe it won't come to the point of needing the extremes.
Also let them know that she is incredibly stubborn. This is one thing that they need you to leave them alone with her for an afternoon a couple of times a week for. Otherwise they won't really know because you are able to get her to do things they won't be able to and they won't beleive that a kid can be that resistant and determined. I have been there done that with Wiz - docs would swear that no oe would do what he would do, and until I let them see him with-o me and try to deal with-it with-o me they didn't believe a word I said.
LOTS of parents say their kids are stubborn, determined, won't do this and can't do that. So the staff hears it all the time and then they get the kids to cooperate anyway. They haven't seen many with the complete dedication to a whim that our kids have - nad the extreme willingness to cut their noses off to spite their faces. It is one reason I think you should take an afternoon and let them try to get her to do something she doesn't want to do - with-o you. Esp fi she is grumpy that day. It sounds mean and feels difficult as it is not something we do as parents of difficult children. Going ahead and doing it is one of the few ways to break in the docs so that they really know what they are working with. It took 2 days in the psychiatric hospital with Wiz for 1 nurse to "get it" with him. she knew the honeymoon was happening and would be loooooong, she knew we were telling the truth because she had seen a few like him and something in her saw it in him. IT took over a month for the rest of them to "get it" and even then it took me setting him off. THEN they thought he needed to stay when they were scheduling his dsicharge for 2 days after the therapy session where I set him off on purpose. Until then the psychiatrist (who saw him for maybe 30 min a week stretched over 5 days) didn't know whyhe was there, thought that I needed to be in a psychiatric hospital and my poor kid needed to be saved from me. Quack. Quack. man was a freakin' duck he was such a quack. but the therapist was great when she saw the problems and the nurse was a huge help.
So I know what it is like nad what they think. I alsoknow they need to SEE her freak out on you with the unending rages, fears, etc... before they will be abel to help you. They don't have a clue how sick she is and how strong her will is - they are used to dealing with difficult children that are more like pcs than most of us think of difficult children as. If that makes any sense.
I am so thrilled she is making progress!! I also think this is going to take some planning on your part because if it follows their usual plans then it won't be enough for her and you will ned up back home iwth the same problem coming back in a few months. So use that brain and the creativity that makes you a great Warrior Mom - and let THEM deal with her on some real difficult child issues/moments so that they are more able to really helpher on the important stuff.
baby steps!!! yay!!!!
