Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 664702" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thank you, Cedar. I'm going to start writing again too, perhaps a different genre. I've made some money writing romantica in the past (the hot, hot stuff with a story) and gotten some good reviews too. Working makes it hard to find the time (and interest). My close friend has just published a lot of her older books, updating them, and could make a really good buck as the publishers are good sellers a nd she's such a gifted writer.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, I made a mistake years ago that I explained. I told my mother my sist'er secrets. I was maybe 20 at the time. I was a mess. I did not understand you don't tell secrets.</p><p>"There are no secrets in families." My grandmother. And I heard my mother blabbing everything we all did to my grandmother all the time. What did I know? And, still, my intention was not to make my mommy think she was a bad girl, although she certainly did get into her share of stuff. Well, who wouldn't when you are ignored as a child?</p><p></p><p>But mostly this is why I did it: My mother had been abusing my sister and neglecting her for a boyfriend and I wanted her to k now what her lack of interest in my sister was doing to her. My sister does not and will not ever believe that this was my main motive. She will forever think it was to make my mother think she was a bad girl. This was <em><strong>over thirty years ago </strong></em> and I know better now and realize how screwed up we were raised, but it happened. Now she claims she never trusted me after that. Ok. Why bother calling me then? You didn't for three years and I was ok with that.</p><p></p><p>Then you kept doing it and maybe were still angry and called the cops and hung up and left and came back and certainly have told my "secrets" to everyone I know that you know, but I'm not as private as she is and my secrets are not as bad so she decided to shout out that I have borderline, but there is nobody to tell who I care about. Sad when she has to make things up. But, at the same time, irrelevant.</p><p></p><p>I have just decided to not analyze her anymore and not analyze ME anymore and let her go gently. I think she still would like to have some sort of relationship with me again, but t hat is never going to happen. I will not risk my heart for her ever again. We are done.. Forever. I have moved on from that family to my real family. I hope she heals from her demons (and they are not just me...she was brutal to my brother as well, remember? And my grandmother). She just...maybe she felt everyone betrayed her at some point. I know I did. I get it. It's over...for all of us in my FOO.</p><p></p><p>I am so glad we shared though and if anything comes up, I will certainly post it for your wise words, but I have hardly ever felt this good. I have had a wonderful twenty years with my husband, but the monkey is off my back now and I don't have to wonder about "them" anymore. The truth doesn't matter. I doubt they even know the truth. I doubt I'd see their truth as they see it. If you aren't even in one another's life, it doesn't matter. Just like some people on this forum believe in giving guns to children and I don't, it is ok to have our own perspectives on the same issues.</p><p></p><p>I will miss Copa, but hope she has a blast and heals and checks in before then.</p><p></p><p>I'm so glad you decided to still stick around <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Hugs and all my love <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 664702, member: 1550"] Thank you, Cedar. I'm going to start writing again too, perhaps a different genre. I've made some money writing romantica in the past (the hot, hot stuff with a story) and gotten some good reviews too. Working makes it hard to find the time (and interest). My close friend has just published a lot of her older books, updating them, and could make a really good buck as the publishers are good sellers a nd she's such a gifted writer. Cedar, I made a mistake years ago that I explained. I told my mother my sist'er secrets. I was maybe 20 at the time. I was a mess. I did not understand you don't tell secrets. "There are no secrets in families." My grandmother. And I heard my mother blabbing everything we all did to my grandmother all the time. What did I know? And, still, my intention was not to make my mommy think she was a bad girl, although she certainly did get into her share of stuff. Well, who wouldn't when you are ignored as a child? But mostly this is why I did it: My mother had been abusing my sister and neglecting her for a boyfriend and I wanted her to k now what her lack of interest in my sister was doing to her. My sister does not and will not ever believe that this was my main motive. She will forever think it was to make my mother think she was a bad girl. This was [I][B]over thirty years ago [/B][/I] and I know better now and realize how screwed up we were raised, but it happened. Now she claims she never trusted me after that. Ok. Why bother calling me then? You didn't for three years and I was ok with that. Then you kept doing it and maybe were still angry and called the cops and hung up and left and came back and certainly have told my "secrets" to everyone I know that you know, but I'm not as private as she is and my secrets are not as bad so she decided to shout out that I have borderline, but there is nobody to tell who I care about. Sad when she has to make things up. But, at the same time, irrelevant. I have just decided to not analyze her anymore and not analyze ME anymore and let her go gently. I think she still would like to have some sort of relationship with me again, but t hat is never going to happen. I will not risk my heart for her ever again. We are done.. Forever. I have moved on from that family to my real family. I hope she heals from her demons (and they are not just me...she was brutal to my brother as well, remember? And my grandmother). She just...maybe she felt everyone betrayed her at some point. I know I did. I get it. It's over...for all of us in my FOO. I am so glad we shared though and if anything comes up, I will certainly post it for your wise words, but I have hardly ever felt this good. I have had a wonderful twenty years with my husband, but the monkey is off my back now and I don't have to wonder about "them" anymore. The truth doesn't matter. I doubt they even know the truth. I doubt I'd see their truth as they see it. If you aren't even in one another's life, it doesn't matter. Just like some people on this forum believe in giving guns to children and I don't, it is ok to have our own perspectives on the same issues. I will miss Copa, but hope she has a blast and heals and checks in before then. I'm so glad you decided to still stick around :) Hugs and all my love :) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
Top