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Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 664887" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Cedar, I just posted this on another thread:</p><p></p><p></p><p>I was channeling the article on betrayal of self that you had posted yesterday or the day before.</p><p></p><p>As I read your post here, I realized again, how the pain for us in our families is that to be with them, they force us to abandon and betray ourselves. We as much as consent to their bad behavior, by witnessing it. And witnessing it, degrades us. Just like witnessing your mother with your brother.</p><p></p><p>Our families force us to accept their terms, their view of the world. All you want, Cedar is a voice, to say NO. STOP. DO NOT treat others this way. It is WRONG.</p><p></p><p>And for that you are marginalized and mocked. "What would Cedar do?"</p><p></p><p>We cannot be with our families and allow that they re-abuse us with their ganging up and triangulation, and odd man out. To not permit it is to stand up to evil. We cannot allow it, with our children or our families. There must be a stop put to it.</p><p></p><p>So the question is this, Cedar: What is it about saying NO to evil is so problematic for you and for me. Why could I not say to my sister directly: "When you speak about people with those words and that voice it hurts me. For you. Please do not do it around me." Of course I know that there would have been an attack against me. But so what? I am an adult. A Frenchman at that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 664887, member: 18958"] Cedar, I just posted this on another thread: I was channeling the article on betrayal of self that you had posted yesterday or the day before. As I read your post here, I realized again, how the pain for us in our families is that to be with them, they force us to abandon and betray ourselves. We as much as consent to their bad behavior, by witnessing it. And witnessing it, degrades us. Just like witnessing your mother with your brother. Our families force us to accept their terms, their view of the world. All you want, Cedar is a voice, to say NO. STOP. DO NOT treat others this way. It is WRONG. And for that you are marginalized and mocked. "What would Cedar do?" We cannot be with our families and allow that they re-abuse us with their ganging up and triangulation, and odd man out. To not permit it is to stand up to evil. We cannot allow it, with our children or our families. There must be a stop put to it. So the question is this, Cedar: What is it about saying NO to evil is so problematic for you and for me. Why could I not say to my sister directly: "When you speak about people with those words and that voice it hurts me. For you. Please do not do it around me." Of course I know that there would have been an attack against me. But so what? I am an adult. A Frenchman at that. [/QUOTE]
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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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