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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 665228" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This is interesting. My mother made her horrible marriage all about abusive dad (her opinion). I'm quite sure the others see it more his fault too, but I'm not sure.</p><p></p><p>I certainly don't. She was impossible to live with.Nobody would have been able to have lived with her in peace for a long time. And my dad was a poor choice because he could be baited. But any normal man would have had problems with her. </p><p></p><p>I have my own fantasy: If my mother had actually seen my sister and brother every day, things would have been very different and far uglier. She couldn't get along long term with anybody. Her only long term relationship in which she lived with somebody was my father and that was a disaster. It was totally dysfunctional. She had no long term friends. She moved away from Illinois so she didn't see my sister often. Golden Child brother was in NJ. It's not that hard to act halfway normal for a week or so.</p><p></p><p>I'm thinking if the t hree of them had lived within blocks of one another and seen each other all the time, they would not have the same nice memories and my sibs may not even be speaking.</p><p></p><p>Distance.</p><p></p><p>Distance is a blessing.</p><p></p><p>My move to Wisconsin was the beginning of my Born Again life. Oh, there were phone and e-mail problems, but that's still a state apart. Yes, she called the cops and told the man who knew me well that jI was bipolar, and, yes, she did it with malice in her black heart, but it wasn't the big deal she probably thought it was. In my new town, people liked me and he did too. And since she kept calling, he started thinking she was the crazy one.</p><p></p><p>The distance did help.</p><p></p><p>I never had to worry about running into her. That's huge.</p><p></p><p>My mother did not get along well with her own mother. I knew that first hand.</p><p></p><p>Actually, she worshipped her brother, Uncle Vain, so I believe she was so in awe of him she didn't misbehave or lose her temper to him. At one time they both lived in the same state and got together...how often, I have no idea.</p><p></p><p>She never found her own true love...well, she did, but he betrayed her.</p><p></p><p>The women in my family do not have good track records finding love.</p><p></p><p>Ok, sorry. Go back to the topic please. Vent is over.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 665228, member: 1550"] This is interesting. My mother made her horrible marriage all about abusive dad (her opinion). I'm quite sure the others see it more his fault too, but I'm not sure. I certainly don't. She was impossible to live with.Nobody would have been able to have lived with her in peace for a long time. And my dad was a poor choice because he could be baited. But any normal man would have had problems with her. I have my own fantasy: If my mother had actually seen my sister and brother every day, things would have been very different and far uglier. She couldn't get along long term with anybody. Her only long term relationship in which she lived with somebody was my father and that was a disaster. It was totally dysfunctional. She had no long term friends. She moved away from Illinois so she didn't see my sister often. Golden Child brother was in NJ. It's not that hard to act halfway normal for a week or so. I'm thinking if the t hree of them had lived within blocks of one another and seen each other all the time, they would not have the same nice memories and my sibs may not even be speaking. Distance. Distance is a blessing. My move to Wisconsin was the beginning of my Born Again life. Oh, there were phone and e-mail problems, but that's still a state apart. Yes, she called the cops and told the man who knew me well that jI was bipolar, and, yes, she did it with malice in her black heart, but it wasn't the big deal she probably thought it was. In my new town, people liked me and he did too. And since she kept calling, he started thinking she was the crazy one. The distance did help. I never had to worry about running into her. That's huge. My mother did not get along well with her own mother. I knew that first hand. Actually, she worshipped her brother, Uncle Vain, so I believe she was so in awe of him she didn't misbehave or lose her temper to him. At one time they both lived in the same state and got together...how often, I have no idea. She never found her own true love...well, she did, but he betrayed her. The women in my family do not have good track records finding love. Ok, sorry. Go back to the topic please. Vent is over. [/QUOTE]
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