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Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 665236" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Serenity, I agree. Thank you for responding.</p><p></p><p>I think it was also that my sister could not bear that I was in the picture at the end.</p><p></p><p>My sister needs control more than anything. She also demands respect (but could never get it from my mother, or really, from me. Although I never disrespected her I never exalted her either.</p><p></p><p>There must have been the expectation, rightfully so, that for all of the degradation that she accepted she would at least have control and respect at the end.</p><p></p><p>My presence and participation must have felt like disrespect and as if I wrested control that I did not deserve.</p><p></p><p>She must have felt like she had paid her dues. That she did not deserve what she got.</p><p></p><p>But the thing was, I was responding to her disrespect of me. When she withheld the information that she had involuntarily put my mother in the hospital, and then screamed at me...I got afraid of her.</p><p></p><p>Then when my mother went into the hospital and I was with her, we were both afraid to call my sister and waited a few days.</p><p></p><p>This infuriated my sister, who of course, did not put the two events together. My fear of what she had done previously, and how she had treated me.</p><p></p><p>I feel for my sister. I really do. I wish there was a way back to that relationship but I do not see how. There is too much dislike of me and need to humiliate me, on her part. Unless I am imagining it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 665236, member: 18958"] Serenity, I agree. Thank you for responding. I think it was also that my sister could not bear that I was in the picture at the end. My sister needs control more than anything. She also demands respect (but could never get it from my mother, or really, from me. Although I never disrespected her I never exalted her either. There must have been the expectation, rightfully so, that for all of the degradation that she accepted she would at least have control and respect at the end. My presence and participation must have felt like disrespect and as if I wrested control that I did not deserve. She must have felt like she had paid her dues. That she did not deserve what she got. But the thing was, I was responding to her disrespect of me. When she withheld the information that she had involuntarily put my mother in the hospital, and then screamed at me...I got afraid of her. Then when my mother went into the hospital and I was with her, we were both afraid to call my sister and waited a few days. This infuriated my sister, who of course, did not put the two events together. My fear of what she had done previously, and how she had treated me. I feel for my sister. I really do. I wish there was a way back to that relationship but I do not see how. There is too much dislike of me and need to humiliate me, on her part. Unless I am imagining it. [/QUOTE]
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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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