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Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 665278" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>My sister has changed dramatically since my father died, and since she and my mother have formed their alliance. I believe, and I feel badly and criminal and sneaky to say so but I am saying so, that a part of that change has been in the way she has been encouraged to see me by my mother. </p><p></p><p>I say encouraged to see. In reality, my sister dearly hoped to see me destroyed and vanquished and beggared, all along. Pseudo mom and etc. My mother is giving permission; is validating unattractive interpretation of me, of D H, of our children and possessions. </p><p></p><p>The hatred was already there <em>and is a choice.</em></p><p></p><p>On my sisters part, this is indicative of a lack of integrity. Remember the ring of fire she prayed against me. Remember that she walks with the Lord, and that He justifies and supports her in her actions, now.</p><p></p><p>That He may see a way to put our relationship together, but that she is done.</p><p></p><p>Justification from on high to do what is in her heart to do.</p><p></p><p>You do not know, Copa, what was the glue that held your mother's and your sister's relationship together.</p><p></p><p>Could it be that the betrayal your sister feels has to do with the mother's betrayal of her in your favor? After all the things that may have been concluded to solidify their relationship? My mother told anyone who would listen that if Cedar did not want to be part of this family, then this family ~ all of them ~ wanted nothing to do with Cedar.</p><p></p><p>All of them.</p><p></p><p>Same words used to and about my father when divorce was in the works for he and my mother.</p><p></p><p>That is my situation.</p><p></p><p>So though it may not be true for you and for your sister, that is what I would of course see, in yours. My stuff. Maybe not true, for you.</p><p></p><p>Were you in contact with your sister through those years you were away, Copa?</p><p></p><p>You have nothing to fear in contacting your sister, now. How else can you know whether you are doing the right thing? She could be hating you. She could be missing you. There may be an opportunity for coming together. Or, there may be the ugliness I find in my family of origin.</p><p></p><p>Do you want to contact her, Copa?</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 665278, member: 17461"] My sister has changed dramatically since my father died, and since she and my mother have formed their alliance. I believe, and I feel badly and criminal and sneaky to say so but I am saying so, that a part of that change has been in the way she has been encouraged to see me by my mother. I say encouraged to see. In reality, my sister dearly hoped to see me destroyed and vanquished and beggared, all along. Pseudo mom and etc. My mother is giving permission; is validating unattractive interpretation of me, of D H, of our children and possessions. The hatred was already there [I]and is a choice.[/I] On my sisters part, this is indicative of a lack of integrity. Remember the ring of fire she prayed against me. Remember that she walks with the Lord, and that He justifies and supports her in her actions, now. That He may see a way to put our relationship together, but that she is done. Justification from on high to do what is in her heart to do. You do not know, Copa, what was the glue that held your mother's and your sister's relationship together. Could it be that the betrayal your sister feels has to do with the mother's betrayal of her in your favor? After all the things that may have been concluded to solidify their relationship? My mother told anyone who would listen that if Cedar did not want to be part of this family, then this family ~ all of them ~ wanted nothing to do with Cedar. All of them. Same words used to and about my father when divorce was in the works for he and my mother. That is my situation. So though it may not be true for you and for your sister, that is what I would of course see, in yours. My stuff. Maybe not true, for you. Were you in contact with your sister through those years you were away, Copa? You have nothing to fear in contacting your sister, now. How else can you know whether you are doing the right thing? She could be hating you. She could be missing you. There may be an opportunity for coming together. Or, there may be the ugliness I find in my family of origin. Do you want to contact her, Copa? Cedar [/QUOTE]
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