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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 665529" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I have wanted to for a long time, Cedar, but I have been afraid to insist upon it. When I brought it up a few months ago he resisted. And I did not feel strong enough to insist.</p><p></p><p>I know I have gotten stronger, and he sees it and he thinks it is the efficacy of his therapy. I have spoken in passing about this website but I doubt he would ever give credence to the power of such a thing.</p><p></p><p>I found his insights about my son to be clearly unhelpful. He insisted that I accept the deficits of my son as such that he would need to be supported and protected his whole life through. <em>He has never met him. Even when I tried to tell him that my fear and limitation was the filter through which his vision of my son was created. </em>He would not listen. He was sure.</p><p></p><p>This is not helpful to me. I do not benefit from giving up hope for my son. And even though he insists he is speaking from a position of facing reality...not denying hope...I do not trust his vision of reality.</p><p></p><p>The reality is I do not need him. I do not benefit from him. I do not trust his vision of me, of M or of my son. I believe that no matter how nice a man he may be or however professional he may feel himself...he is ultimately delimited and confined by that profession...more than he is elevated by it.</p><p></p><p>My old therapist, the betrayer, even when he was shamed, stripped of his medical license, his positions, his accolades and fame...continued to act as a therapist. He never ever doubted himself.</p><p></p><p>And continued to believe he could rightfully evaluate the experience and potential of others....as he did me.</p><p></p><p>I believe that my instinct to surround myself with women and women's work, textiles, art etc. is sound. I believe what I miss is friendship, and that with M and friendship and meaningful pursuits...I will be OK.</p><p></p><p>I will end this post here (something is in the oven) and get back in a bit.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 665529, member: 18958"] I have wanted to for a long time, Cedar, but I have been afraid to insist upon it. When I brought it up a few months ago he resisted. And I did not feel strong enough to insist. I know I have gotten stronger, and he sees it and he thinks it is the efficacy of his therapy. I have spoken in passing about this website but I doubt he would ever give credence to the power of such a thing. I found his insights about my son to be clearly unhelpful. He insisted that I accept the deficits of my son as such that he would need to be supported and protected his whole life through. [I]He has never met him. Even when I tried to tell him that my fear and limitation was the filter through which his vision of my son was created. [/I]He would not listen. He was sure. This is not helpful to me. I do not benefit from giving up hope for my son. And even though he insists he is speaking from a position of facing reality...not denying hope...I do not trust his vision of reality. The reality is I do not need him. I do not benefit from him. I do not trust his vision of me, of M or of my son. I believe that no matter how nice a man he may be or however professional he may feel himself...he is ultimately delimited and confined by that profession...more than he is elevated by it. My old therapist, the betrayer, even when he was shamed, stripped of his medical license, his positions, his accolades and fame...continued to act as a therapist. He never ever doubted himself. And continued to believe he could rightfully evaluate the experience and potential of others....as he did me. I believe that my instinct to surround myself with women and women's work, textiles, art etc. is sound. I believe what I miss is friendship, and that with M and friendship and meaningful pursuits...I will be OK. I will end this post here (something is in the oven) and get back in a bit. [/QUOTE]
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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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