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General Parenting
In the middle of a situation....advice?
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<blockquote data-quote="dcwsaranac" data-source="post: 139195" data-attributes="member: 4746"><p>Welcome to the world of parenting kids with eighteenitis. been there done that - long hard story.</p><p></p><p>You've got the contract, use it. </p><p></p><p>He thinks he is an adult now and wants to be treated like an adult who can make his own decisions while enjoying the perks of being a dependent child. Time for him to get a reality check and understand that he has to choose how he is going to live right now. </p><p></p><p>I'd say you've already backpeddled a bit by not holding him firm to the rules of the house - so give it a few hours rest. Tomorrow morning - before he eats one bit of the food you bought, or watches your TV, or anything like that - you sit him down and make him choose. Re-read and rewrite the contract if necessary and this time stick to it - it needs to be a black and white business proposition. </p><p></p><p>Here's one notion - he wants to be treated like an independent adult, treat him as an independent adult. He he pays room and board - all perks are on him alone. If he doesn't have a job, you determine what work he is to due around the house in lieu of monetary payment. You divide the chores and assign a real dollar value to them ($150/wk room and board divided by 15 specific chores - $10 per chore per week), if he falls more than one week behind in his payments/work, he is locked out until he shows with the money or performs some additional work for back rent. It's tough, but it gives him a good dose of what it's like to live as an independent adult.</p><p></p><p>Your love should be unconditional, but you need not put yourselves in a position to be abused by your son. Sometimes love means letting your children learn hard lessons the hard way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dcwsaranac, post: 139195, member: 4746"] Welcome to the world of parenting kids with eighteenitis. been there done that - long hard story. You've got the contract, use it. He thinks he is an adult now and wants to be treated like an adult who can make his own decisions while enjoying the perks of being a dependent child. Time for him to get a reality check and understand that he has to choose how he is going to live right now. I'd say you've already backpeddled a bit by not holding him firm to the rules of the house - so give it a few hours rest. Tomorrow morning - before he eats one bit of the food you bought, or watches your TV, or anything like that - you sit him down and make him choose. Re-read and rewrite the contract if necessary and this time stick to it - it needs to be a black and white business proposition. Here's one notion - he wants to be treated like an independent adult, treat him as an independent adult. He he pays room and board - all perks are on him alone. If he doesn't have a job, you determine what work he is to due around the house in lieu of monetary payment. You divide the chores and assign a real dollar value to them ($150/wk room and board divided by 15 specific chores - $10 per chore per week), if he falls more than one week behind in his payments/work, he is locked out until he shows with the money or performs some additional work for back rent. It's tough, but it gives him a good dose of what it's like to live as an independent adult. Your love should be unconditional, but you need not put yourselves in a position to be abused by your son. Sometimes love means letting your children learn hard lessons the hard way. [/QUOTE]
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In the middle of a situation....advice?
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