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Installing a husband
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 245564" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p><em>This is actually pretty funny. Hope it makes you laugh today</em>.<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">NSTALLING A HUSBAND</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Dear Tech Support,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Boyfriend 5.0.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">such as</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">undesirable programs such as</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">the system.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">problems, but to no avail.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">What can I do?</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Signed,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Desperate</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">DEAR DESPERATE,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Husband 1.0 is an operating system.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6...1. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">control of all your system resources..)</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">1.0.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">recommend:</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Good Luck !</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Tech Support</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 245564, member: 3301"] [I]This is actually pretty funny. Hope it makes you laugh today[/I].:happy: [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]NSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate DEAR DESPERATE, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6...1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources..) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7. Good Luck ! Tech Support[/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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