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<blockquote data-quote="trouble" data-source="post: 434320" data-attributes="member: 12116"><p>gcvmom - we're in the middle of medications review/reset/adjust, but its going to take at least 3 months; to get to the medication we want to try (and have it funded), have to try everything else first. We do know that the medications are NOT being effective in controlling impulse etc.</p><p> </p><p>Marg - Definitely not Aspie - just re-tested, psychiatrist report says he shows "some elevated readings" in areas like social skills, but no where near the "aspie" thresholds. There is some relationship between the various developmental challenges... aspie, adhd, motor skills, etc. So it might be an edge of this, but not much.</p><p> </p><p>At school they turned off the WIFI, but now it is extremely cumbersome for him to do his work by computer - 10 steps to print, more than that to email assignments to a teacher... it takes so much time that he's decided the computer isn't worth the effort at school - but he can't produce the volume or quality of work necessary without it... BUT, they say that's the price he pays (for the entire rest of his education - they will NOT, ever, re-consider a second chance for anyone) for doing what he did with a school computer. WIFI should never have been on in the first place... he needs EFFECTIVE systems, what he's got is worse than nothing.</p><p> </p><p>At home, the internet computer is so absolutely vital to my job, that essentially nobody gets to use it, ever - well, almost never... husband will sometimes page through particular sites, if I set it up for him (and close down all client sites) - and the kids will do supervised homework research and/or on-line class materials as required... but "supervised" in our house means checked on every 5-10 minutes... and that's enough time to get into trouble. We lock it down so tight, because if someone downloads something and crashes the system and I can't be back up within 2 hours, then I'm out of a job - permanently. (its contract work with performance clauses)</p><p> </p><p>Thought about the "lock on the door" approach, but THAT runs the risk that he steals the keys and then locks himself in there WITH her... and that's even worse. And, he's getting to be pretty good at picking locks anyway - so, key or no key...</p><p> </p><p>The principal saw the original stuff he downloaded - and he says they see soft-porn stuff "all the time", the stuff that's "normal" for boys this age - but the stuff on HIS computer was the most extreme he had ever seen... so, its not just my reaction to the titles and stuff, it IS extreme. (even husband admits to finding used copies of various mags as a teenager... we're not THAT prude)</p><p> </p><p>The "overstrict" label comes from how we live... we don't even own a TV (its not just off-limits for the kids), no computer-games like Nintendo, no internet games, no cell phones for the kids (not yet - they have to be able to afford to pay 100% of the costs for long-term contracts)... What they do have is 10x what most kids get... advanced access to anything it takes in their areas of interest... music, tools, equipment, lessons, projects, etc. etc. (including two very lively dogs). When we travel, its jam-packed and the kids love it, but we're a pretty orderly home the rest of the time because we all need it. The more research we do into the conditions we're dealing with, the more we're convinced that NOT having this stuff is the right decision... but the rest of the world doesn't agree. (not yet)</p><p> </p><p>One of the worries is, has someone been messing with HIM and we don't know about it? He has never been a communicator, and its gotten worse the last 4-5 years of problems... he keeps everything bottled inside (tdocs can't reach him). Is some of this a way of plotting revenge??? If he hasn't been messed with, then its probably easier to turn around - found some interesting articles for him... he's pretty gullible, but we can make use of that trait... leave stuff laying around looking like he's NOT supposed to read it, and you can just about guarantee that it gets read...</p><p> </p><p>The first set of incidents I can sort of rationalize. The next set... ??? Wat does it really mean? Because he is 14, tdocs cannot tell us ANYTHING about what gets discussed OR any of there conclusions, unless THEY think he is likely to cause harm to someone else or himself. So, we know almost nothing of the few visits he's had since the incidents started... and no input into the process. And no money to pay for private tdocs, so its all "whatever is available"...</p><p> </p><p>How do you tell if a kid's been sexually molested??? esp. a boy?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trouble, post: 434320, member: 12116"] gcvmom - we're in the middle of medications review/reset/adjust, but its going to take at least 3 months; to get to the medication we want to try (and have it funded), have to try everything else first. We do know that the medications are NOT being effective in controlling impulse etc. Marg - Definitely not Aspie - just re-tested, psychiatrist report says he shows "some elevated readings" in areas like social skills, but no where near the "aspie" thresholds. There is some relationship between the various developmental challenges... aspie, adhd, motor skills, etc. So it might be an edge of this, but not much. At school they turned off the WIFI, but now it is extremely cumbersome for him to do his work by computer - 10 steps to print, more than that to email assignments to a teacher... it takes so much time that he's decided the computer isn't worth the effort at school - but he can't produce the volume or quality of work necessary without it... BUT, they say that's the price he pays (for the entire rest of his education - they will NOT, ever, re-consider a second chance for anyone) for doing what he did with a school computer. WIFI should never have been on in the first place... he needs EFFECTIVE systems, what he's got is worse than nothing. At home, the internet computer is so absolutely vital to my job, that essentially nobody gets to use it, ever - well, almost never... husband will sometimes page through particular sites, if I set it up for him (and close down all client sites) - and the kids will do supervised homework research and/or on-line class materials as required... but "supervised" in our house means checked on every 5-10 minutes... and that's enough time to get into trouble. We lock it down so tight, because if someone downloads something and crashes the system and I can't be back up within 2 hours, then I'm out of a job - permanently. (its contract work with performance clauses) Thought about the "lock on the door" approach, but THAT runs the risk that he steals the keys and then locks himself in there WITH her... and that's even worse. And, he's getting to be pretty good at picking locks anyway - so, key or no key... The principal saw the original stuff he downloaded - and he says they see soft-porn stuff "all the time", the stuff that's "normal" for boys this age - but the stuff on HIS computer was the most extreme he had ever seen... so, its not just my reaction to the titles and stuff, it IS extreme. (even husband admits to finding used copies of various mags as a teenager... we're not THAT prude) The "overstrict" label comes from how we live... we don't even own a TV (its not just off-limits for the kids), no computer-games like Nintendo, no internet games, no cell phones for the kids (not yet - they have to be able to afford to pay 100% of the costs for long-term contracts)... What they do have is 10x what most kids get... advanced access to anything it takes in their areas of interest... music, tools, equipment, lessons, projects, etc. etc. (including two very lively dogs). When we travel, its jam-packed and the kids love it, but we're a pretty orderly home the rest of the time because we all need it. The more research we do into the conditions we're dealing with, the more we're convinced that NOT having this stuff is the right decision... but the rest of the world doesn't agree. (not yet) One of the worries is, has someone been messing with HIM and we don't know about it? He has never been a communicator, and its gotten worse the last 4-5 years of problems... he keeps everything bottled inside (tdocs can't reach him). Is some of this a way of plotting revenge??? If he hasn't been messed with, then its probably easier to turn around - found some interesting articles for him... he's pretty gullible, but we can make use of that trait... leave stuff laying around looking like he's NOT supposed to read it, and you can just about guarantee that it gets read... The first set of incidents I can sort of rationalize. The next set... ??? Wat does it really mean? Because he is 14, tdocs cannot tell us ANYTHING about what gets discussed OR any of there conclusions, unless THEY think he is likely to cause harm to someone else or himself. So, we know almost nothing of the few visits he's had since the incidents started... and no input into the process. And no money to pay for private tdocs, so its all "whatever is available"... How do you tell if a kid's been sexually molested??? esp. a boy? [/QUOTE]
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